All Night Long

haven’t been to that other place can never really understand how hard it is for the travelers who return, travelers like us, to pretend that nothing has changed.”
    She put her arms around him, hugging him fiercely.
    They stood there for a long time, holding each other, not talking. After a while he led her indoors. He walked her down the hall to the bedroom and turned on the lights for her.
    She pulled a little away from him, putting some distance between them. She gave him a shaky smile and used the back of her sleeve to wipe the moisture from her eyes.
    “Don’t worry, I’ll be back to my usual self in the morning.”
    “Sure,” he said. “If it’s okay with you, though, I’m going to sleep on your couch tonight.”
    She blinked and then her eyes widened. “Why do you want to do that?”
    “Because you had a bad scare this evening and because I asked you about the past and because yo old me. You don’t really want to be alone tonight, do you?”
    “No,” she said.
    The stark, painful honesty of the reply hit him hard. She was not used to letting others this close, he thought.
    “Neither do I.” He opened the tiny hall closet and took out the spare pillow and blanket stored inside. “Mind if I turn down the lights in the front room, though? If it bothers you, I can sleep with my shir ver my eyes.”
    “No,” she said. “As long as I know you’re out there, I won’t be afraid of the dark.”

Twenty-Six
    An hour and a half later, Irene got up for the second time and embarked on another short trek aroun he tiny bedroom. Another bad night; another ritual. In the blue glow of the night-light she had installed, she surveyed the rumpled bed and the small chest of drawers. There was barely any room to move in here.
    When she was at home, a walk through her well-lit condo to check the locks on windows and door as the first of a two-part ritual that she used to deal with the midnight jitters. The second par onsisted of a spoonful of peanut butter spread between two saltine crackers.
    The problem tonight was that she was confined to the bedroom because Luke was sleeping on th ouch in the other room. The more she reminded herself that she could not pursue her nighttime routine tonight, the more restless and edgy she felt.
    She had to move, she thought. She had to get to the peanut butter and crackers.
    She went to the door, cracked it open and peered down the short hall into the darkened front room and kitchen area. There was no sound from the vicinity of the couch. Luke was most likely asleep. If sh as very quiet, she might be able to go into the kitchen without waking him. She could get the box of crackers and the jar of peanut butter and take them back to the bedroom.
    The package of clothes she had received had not contained a robe. The thought made her hesitate a few more seconds. Then she decided that her cozy, full-length, long-sleeved cotton nightgown would provide ample modesty and coverage if Luke did happen to wake up and see her.
    She went toward the front room as stealthily as possible, automatically glancing into the well-lit bath to make certain that the high, frosted-glass window was still securely locked.
    When she reached the shadowed living room, she looked toward the couch.
    Although the lamps wer ff, there was a fair amount of porch light seeping between the cracks in the curtains.
    She could mak ut Luke’s sleeping form sprawled on the cushions.
    She worked her way cautiously toward the kitchen. When she arrived, she opened the cupboard doo s soundlessly as possible and groped inside for the peanut butter jar.
    “You going to eat that all by yourself, or are you planning to share?” Luke asked out of the shadows.
    She gasped, started violently and nearly lost her grip on the peanut butter. Clutching the jar, she whirled around.
    “I thought you were asleep,” she said.
    “Hard to do that with you prowling around back there in the bedroom.”
    “Oh. Sorry about that.” She took down the box of crackers “When I can’t sleep, I walk. I also ea eanut butter and crackers.”

    “Personally I usually go for a long walk and a slug of brandy. But I’ve got nothing against peanut butter. That works, too.”
    She looked across the counter at him and nearly dropped the jar a second time.
    He wasn’t quite naked, but dressed in a pair of white briefs and a black tee shirt, he might as well have been. She saw him reach for something in the shadows. His jeans, she thought. He