All Together Dead

dark corner where they could hide. Maybe that had been the more natural way. I slapped myself mentally. I might as well go join the Fellowship, if that was how I really felt. I’d noticed the protesters in the little park across the street from the Pyramid of Gizeh, which some of the signs referred to as “The Pyramid of Geezers.”
    “Where are the coffins?” I asked Mr. Cataliades.
    “They’re coming in through a basement entrance,” he said.
    There had been a metal detector at the hotel door. I’d tried hard not to look when Johan Glassport had emptied his pockets. The detector had gone off like a siren when he’d passed through. “Do the coffins have to go through a metal detector, too?” I asked.
    “No. Our vampires have wooden coffins, but the hardware on them is metal, and you can’t empty the vampires out to search their pockets for other metal objects, so that wouldn’t make any sense,” Mr. Cataliades answered, for the first time sounding impatient. “Plus, some vampires have chosen the modern metal caskets.”
    “The demonstrators across the street,” I said. “They have me spooked. They’d love to sneak in here.”
    Mr. Cataliades smiled, a terrifying sight. “No one will get in here, Miss Sookie. There are other guards that you can’t see.”
    While Mr. Cataliades checked us in, I stood to his side and turned to look around at the other people. They were all dressed very nicely, and they were all talking. About us. I felt instantly anxious at the looks we were getting from the others, and the buzzing thoughts from the few live guests and staff reinforced my anxiety. We were the human entourage of the queen who had been one of the most powerful vampire rulers in America. Now she was not only weakened economically, but she was going on trial for murdering her husband. I could see why the other flunkies were interested— I would’ve found us interesting—but I was uncomfortable. All I could think about was how shiny my nose must be, and how much I wanted to have a few moments alone.
    The clerk went over our reservations very slowly and deliberately, as if to keep us on exhibit in the lobby for as long as possible. Mr. Cataliades dealt with him with his usual elaborate courtesy, though even that was getting strained after ten minutes.
    I’d been standing at a discreet distance during the process, but when I could tell the clerk—fortyish, recreational drug user, father of three—was just fucking us over to entertain himself, I took a step closer. I laid a hand on Mr. C’s sleeve to indicate that I wanted to join in the conversation. He interrupted himself to turn an interested face toward me.
    “You give us our keys and tell us where our vamps are, or I’ll tell your boss that you’re the one selling Pyramid of Gizeh items on eBay. And if you bribe a maid to even touch the queen’s panties, much less steal ’em, I’ll sic Diantha on you.” Diantha had just returned from tracking down a bottle of water. She obligingly revealed her sharp, pointed teeth in a lethal smile.
    The clerk turned white and then red in an interesting display of blood flow patterns. “Yes, ma’am,” he stammered, and I wondered if he would wet himself. After my little rummage through his head, I didn’t much care.
    In very short order, we all had keys, we had a list of “our” vampires’ resting places, and the bellman was bringing our luggage in one of those neat carts. That reminded me of something.
    Barry, I said in my head. You here?
    Yeah, said a voice that was far from the faltering one it had been the first time I’d heard it. Sookie Stackhouse?
    It’s me. We’re checking in. I’m in 1538. You?
    I’m in 1576. How are you doing?
    Good, personally. But Louisiana…we’ve had the hurricane, and we’ve got the trial. I guess you know all about that?
    Yeah. You saw some action.
    You could say that, I told him, wondering if my smile was coming across in my head.
    Got that loud and clear.
    Now I had an inkling of how people must feel when they were faced with me.
    I’ll see you later, I told Barry. Hey, what’s your real last name?
    You started something when you brought my gift out into the open, he told me. My real name is Barry Horowitz. Now I just call myself Barry Bellboy. That’s how I’m registered, if you forget my room number.
    Okay. Looking forward to visiting with you.
    Same here.
    And then Barry and I both turned our attention to other things, and that strange tickling