Always Remember

told me that. Crying is good for you.”
    “I ’m not gonna cry, Lex, because then that’d mean I’d lost her. I haven’t – not yet – and if I have my way, I won’t lose her.”

Chapter Fourteen

JEN

    I commend whoever created the onesie. Also, if you are the creator of Ben and Jerrys and wine, your names should be put on a fucking plaque on the street of every capital city in the world.
    I might also be singing the praises of salt and vinegar crunchy sticks right now, too.
    What’s a girl to do?
    A small knock on my front door is followed by it opening quietly.
    “I don ’t care who you are, you should go away,” I mumble.
    “One, it ’s a good job I’m not a serial killer, and two, you should learn to lock your front door if you don’t want visitors,” Lexy calls. The door swings shut.
    “Oh. I suppose you can stay.” I watch as whoever it is leaves whatever show it is on my television. I don ’t care. I don’t even know what I’m watching.
    “I have wine and chocolate?” she offers, waving two bags in the air. I smile weakly, letting my head rest against the back of the sofa.
    She puts the bags down, disappears into my kitchen for a glass, and pours herself a wine. She tops my glass up and sits next to me, tucking her legs under the quilt.
    “You look like shit.”
    “Gee, thanks. You really know how to make me feel good. Did you skip the ‘What Not to Say In Case Of a Broken Heart’ section in the best friend manual?” I ask dryly.
    “I skimmed it.” She grins. “And I have been ordered to be here, so you know, I figure that part doesn ’t count.”
    “Ordered to be here?”
    “Yep.” She settles back. “What’s this crap you’re watching?”
    “Bimbos and Abs, it looks like,” I quip. “Who ordered you to be here?”
    “Samuel.”
    “Samuel.”
    “Yes. Samuel.”
    “Huh.”
    “What?”
    “He really has dropped his name.”
    “Yep. He got annoyed when I called him Bing, and I only wanted to know why he was smashing the shit out of the punching bag. I think he broke some of the stitching.”
    I swallow, looking into my glass. My chest tightens a little, and I have to take a deep breath. “Yeah. He was kinda pissed when he left here,” I say quietly.
    “Well, hell,” she cries. “ I’m kinda pissed, Jen. My big brother is through the roof, steam-coming-from-his-ears pissed.”
    My lips quirk at that visual. “Yeah. I can imagine.” My face drops again, and I spin my glass slowly between my fingers. “I think I ’d probably feel that way if I didn’t feel like I’d just been kicked in the gut by a horse.”
    “I think he feels a little of that too. He just feels his anger first. He always has.” Lexy smirks. “He stubbed his toe on the kitchen table when he was about eight, and instead of registering the pain, he got angry and kicked the table with his other foot. He had two stubbed toes, and he was still angrier than he was in pain. It took him a few minutes to calm down and realise he ’d just bashed the hell out of both of his feet.”
    I give a sad smile. “Why am I not surprised?”
    “It gets better. He had a football match straight after. He hobbled for about ten minutes into it.”
    “Yep. That sounds like my Samuel,” I whisper.
    “Your Samuel, huh?”
    I nod. “Well he is, isn ’t he? Bloody great buffoon that he is, he’s mine.” I sniff a little, fighting back some tears. “But I can’t be his, because I can’t deal with her.”
    “He ’s not gonna let it go, Jen. Your best bet is just giving in to him and giving him what he wants, ‘cause he ain’t gonna stop till he’s got you back. In his mind, he still has you.”
    “Don ’t, Lexy.”
    “It ’s true. You have to accept that because he won’t give up on you.”
    I lift my eyes to hers, and they ’re soft just like her voice. “Because he always gets what he wants, right?”
    “Because he doesn ’t give up on something he believes in, and he believes in you.”

    ~

    I wrap my arms around the two foot tall toddler as she falls into me and bury my face in her blonde curls.
    “ An Jen!” Daisy yells, squeezing me.
    “Hey, Daisy duck!” I kiss the side of her head, putting a smile on for her sake. I pull back from her and look into her big blue eyes. “Were you good for mummy in the car?”
    She nods, her face innocent, and sucks on the corner of her blanket.
    “Are we gonna cause some mischief this weekend?” I glance over the top of her head at my