Always Watching

someone at the center, I still didn’t think Aaron was going to hurt me, not for a sexual-abuse case which he knew would probably be dropped. If something happened to me, he’d be the first suspect, and he wasn’t a stupid man. However, it was possible he was trying to scare me off before there was any negative publicity for the center.
    The phone rang a second time, spiking my pulse. I waited a moment, gathered myself, and then looked at the call display. This time it showed a number that I vaguely remembered, but I still answered with a cautious “Hello?”
    “Hi, Nadine. It’s Tammy.”
    “Tammy! How are you?” I sat back on the couch, relieved.
    “Not good.”
    She sounded stressed, anxious. Concerned about her, I sat back up and quickly said, “Is everything okay?”
    Her voice now thick and nasally, like she was crying, she said, “My husband doesn’t want me to talk to the police.”
    I leaned back in my chair. Disappointed but not surprised, I said, “And what do you want to do? Do you still want to speak with them?”
    “I don’t know. I see his point. He’s just scared for me and Dillon. People think the center is so great, and Aaron is this important guy with tons of money. He just doesn’t want me to be dragged through the mud, with all the newspapers and stuff, everyone talking about it. He doesn’t think people will believe me.”
    The way she said it, the sad tone told me that she was also disappointed, in her husband or the truth of the matter, I wasn’t sure. But he was right—she would have an uphill battle. Many people wouldn’t believe her, and if it did go to trial, it would be an emotionally exhausting process that would put a lot of stress on her life and marriage. I knew this all too well.
    Now that the search hadn’t turned up anything at the site, and Tammy wasn’t willing to talk, the chances of ever building a case against Aaron were dwindling rapidly, but it was also important that Tammy feel good about her decision. I said, “Tammy, I know how hard this must be for you. Going against the wishes of people close to us is extremely difficult. But sometimes we have to do what feels right to us, even if it means upsetting others in our life. I respect whatever decision you make, I just hope you do what’s best for you.”
    She lowered her voice. “I have to go.” Muffled sounds in the background, like an argument: a raised man’s voice and Tammy’s, pleading.
    I said, “Tammy? Are you okay?”
    A man’s voice answered. “Stay away from my wife.”
    He hung up.
    I sat in my dark living room, my heart hammering in my chest. I was worried about Tammy, but I didn’t hear anything that I could call the police about, and if I phoned back, it could just cause more problems for her. I hoped that she was okay. When my system had settled down, I decided what to do next. There was one more person I could try to reach. I took a moment to calm myself, then phoned Daniel. It had been a few days, and he hadn’t called with any news of Lisa, so I wasn’t sure if he’d moved back to the center yet, or if he’d even still have his cell. He answered on the second ring.
    “Daniel, it’s Nadine. I was just following up on our last conversation.”
    “Sorry, the job is taking longer than I’d thought. I promise, as soon as I get to the center, I’ll look for Lisa and let you know.”
    I dropped my head onto the back of my couch as tears pricked my eyes. “Thanks.” I took a breath. “No one else I’ve talked to has been able to help.”
    His voice was curious. “Who have you been talking to?”
    “There was another victim, with a family member at the center. But she isn’t ready to speak to the police, and she can’t contact her family on the inside.”
    “She probably just knows her lies will be found out. If you’d ever been to the center, you wouldn’t believe any of these accusations.” His voice was confident, proud. “Aaron’s a brilliant teacher. You just don’t know them.”
    “I do know them, Daniel.”
    I caught myself before I revealed more, hoping that Daniel might not have picked up on my slip, but he was quiet. Then, speaking slowly, as though he was still putting it all together, he said, “Wait.… Were you a member? Is that why…?”
    Now it was my turn to pause, wondering if it was a good idea to tell him anything more. How much did I want him to know? I scolded myself. How can I expect others to share their stories when I’m still