Angel and the Assassin: Be Brave

“You‟re so strong
    under the whip. Not to mention how you shot those men in Bosnia, using a gun for
    the first time. You‟re such a brave boy.”
    “I just didn‟t want to be an emo and make you ashamed of me.”
    “What‟s an emo?” Kael asked.
    “A wimp, a pussy.” He smiled.
    Kael ruffled Angel‟s hair, running his fingers through the silky softness. “The
    last thing you are is a wimp.”
    “Daddy, why can‟t my mom be like yours? She wouldn‟t have put you in foster
    homes, would she?”
    His mum would have prostituted herself rather than give him up. As it was,
    she had slaved at cleaning jobs all his childhood. “No, she wouldn‟t. And if she were
    your mum, she wouldn‟t have given you up either. There‟s nothing wrong with you,
    sweetheart. It‟s your mother who‟s got the problem. She needs a man to look after
    her and give her things to make her happy. But you‟re a great kid. Look how you
    turned out with no help from anyone. You‟re clever and kind. You‟re a good boy. Did
    I tell you I‟m proud of you?”
    “You tell me that all the time, Daddy.” Angel looked down, scrunching his
    blanket in his hands. “I know she‟s not to be trusted, so why was I so stupid that I
    thought I could trust her today?”
    “It‟s hard to give up on people you love, or people you want to love you,” Kael
    said.
    Very quietly, Angel said, “We were living in a trailer when I was five, and
    winter was coming on. I think my mom was panicking because it was going to get
    really cold and she was working as a stripper and she wasn‟t getting much money.
    Then one day I was playing on the floor with some plastic farm animals. Funny how
    you remember stuff like that, isn‟t it, Daddy?” Kael nodded and hugged him closer.
    “A lady and a man came in and started talking to my mom. She told me to say hi to
    them, so I did. Then she said they were taking me for a car ride, and I liked going

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    Fyn Alexander

    places and my mom told me it was okay to go with them, so I did. They took me to a
    foster home that day.”
    “Did she tell you they were taking you away?” Kael asked.
    “No. I had no idea where I was going. I thought it was just a ride and then
    they‟d take me home again. That foster home had a teenager there, and I think he
    was the foster parents‟ real son. He was a mean fucker. He told me he‟d throw me
    out the window if I cried at night, so I never dared. Then a few days later, the CPS
    lady picked me up and took me to this place and sat in a room with me. I didn‟t
    know at the time, but it was a supervised visit room at the CPS building. Then my
    mom came in and we hugged and she played with me. Then after a while, she said
    she had to go. So I put my coat on and got my blanket because I thought I was going
    with her, but she said good-bye and opened the door. I tried to go out with her, but
    the CPS worker said I had to stay with her. I went nuts and screamed and cried.
    Then after that, she took me back to the foster home again. I was so stupid. I
    thought when I saw my mom that she‟d come to take me home. I thought she‟d come
    to save me. When she walked out that door and left me there screaming, I never
    trusted her ever again. I never trusted anyone after that till I met you, Daddy. She
    didn‟t come to visit me again for over a year.”
    Kael held him close, rocking him, and Angel gave a little laugh. He always did
    that when he was trying to be brave. Trying to make himself feel better. “But I
    survived and here I am. Daddy, can we make some hot chocolate before we go back
    to bed?”
    Kael kissed the top of Angel‟s head, inhaling the sweet scent of his lovely blond
    hair. “Of course we can. Come on, boy.” In the kitchen, he ordered Angel to sit on
    the stool at the counter, still wearing Kael‟s dressing gown, while Kael made hot
    chocolate in the nude and marveled at his beautiful boy and what his life had
    become. Never in a million years would he have imagined himself making hot
    chocolate in the middle of the night to comfort a boy he was so in love with. When it
    was ready, Kael sat on another stool and watched Angel sip the foaming, sweet
    drink.
    “Aren‟t you having any, Daddy?”
    Kael shook his head. “I‟m not a big hot chocolate fan. Do you feel better?”
    Angel smiled. He looked exhausted. “Yes, Sir. But what the hell was she
    thinking giving me a Rolex watch? I bet he bought it. I would have much preferred
    an