Angels of Darkness

?”
    â€œNo. And at first it was all right. I had a purpose, I had a mission. I was happy to be carrying it out.”
    But doing nothing else? She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. “Not even stopping for a cup of tea. A biscuit.”
    â€œNo. I didn’t eat or drink.”
    â€œPassing a few minutes on a park bench.” Or half a day, as Radha sometimes did—especially if there were children about. Using her illusions only as weapons would be such a waste. If demons brought despair, she’d bring a little joy. “Chatting with the old men in a café.”
    â€œNo.”
    What would he be unable to resist? Singing, perhaps. He’d sung often in Caelum, and he had a beautiful voice.
    â€œWatching a musician on the street.”
    He smiled, shaking his head. “No.”
    â€œDid you sing?”
    â€œNo.”
    She couldn’t imagine. Because everything she’d felt in his emotions a few hours before, that loneliness and despair—that was after ten years of coming back from that low. Despite every illusion she could cast, every silly thing she thought up, Radha simply couldn’t imagine the loneliness and misery that he’d put himself through, the low point he must have reached to even consider ascending.
    â€œNo wonder Heaven seemed so appealing. If it’s not really a spaceship,” she said, and his low laugh seemed to break apart the icy pain that clawed at her throat.
    â€œI didn’t care about Heaven,” he said. “I just wanted to be a Guardian—but I didn’t want to live in Hell anymore while being one. And I thought that if I just lacked faith, the Ascension was the perfect way to prove it.”
    â€œBut?”
    â€œBut then I pulled my head out of my ass, as I said. I took a look around Caelum, at all the Guardians there. Not a single one of them was chosen to become a Guardian just because they had faith in something—they had all done something. I saved my father. You traded your life for your son’s.”
    And put herself at the mercy of a merciless vampire. Radha grimaced. Though she’d have made the same choice again, a million times over, she could only recall the teeth ripping her throat open, the horrifying pain—and she didn’t like to think about it. She rarely spoke of it, and then only briefly.
    â€œYou remember that?”
    â€œI haven’t forgotten anything you told me—like pointing out that the Rules don’t say a thing about faith. They basically say: Try not to kill or hurt anyone. It’s the same with being chosen as a Guardian: It was never about what we believed. It was what we did . The reward for that was just fine. So I chose to keep on doing rather than ascending.”
    â€œBut you decided to keep on doing it differently.” No more celibate warrior. “You changed that.”
    â€œI did. I bought this house, a little land. I took a day now and then to travel. I started stopping for coffee, chatting with the old men, buying ice cream.”
    And began taking a few other steps, she realized now. Like working with Special Investigations. He hadn’t always—and not every Guardian did. But it required him to keep in touch with other Guardians. That contact would lead to relationships with people who did understand him. Not romantic ones, but working relationships. Maybe friendships.
    She hoped he wanted to cultivate this one again. “So it’s better.”
    â€œYes.” His expression darkened. Not looking back at himself with humor now, but simply remembering. “A hell of a lot better.”
    â€œI wish I’d known. I’d have looked for you. But maybe you wouldn’t have stopped for me, either.”
    â€œI’d have stopped for you,” he said, taking her breath. “Now give me your next question.”
    He’d made this one so easy for her. “Will you come over here and kiss me?”
    â€œYes.” But he didn’t move, and his fingers clenched on the edge of the countertop, as if holding himself back. “You need to ask me a few more things first, though. Such as, How did I like Bangladesh?”
    Oh. Yes, that was important. Bangladesh, and the other regions in her territory. They could easily travel back and forth several times a week by using the portals through Caelum to cut down the flying time. And they didn’t have to spend it all in bed. He could fight at her