Apocalypsis 03 - Exodus

admitting he was my boyfriend still stung. Probably because they were mostly true. I had refused to acknowledge it for some stupid reason I couldn’t even remember anymore, and now he wasn’t here for me to tell him I was sorry and that I hadn’t meant to deny it. He told me he loved me and I didn’t tell him back. What’s wrong with me? Why didn’t I just tell him the truth? The blood from my arm trickled down to my hand and dripped from my finger to the floor, but I disregarded it. I leaned my head up against the wall, crying silently as I thought about all the times we’d goofed around together, kissed, been intimate. Bodo was gone, and there was nothing I could do about my selfishness now.
    ***
    The first sensation I had was hearing the sound of voices. Then the smell of the outhouse burned my nose.
    “Just be careful. She’s ripped the stitches out of her arm,” said the voice of the girl I hated. I wanted to lash out at her, but I was paralyzed for some reason.
    “Watch it! Her leg’s caught,” said another. I knew the voice but couldn’t place it. “Coli, pull her pants up for me.”
    I wanted to die of humiliation. I was being rescued from the toilet by a guy. I felt my shorts being roughly yanked up to my hips.
    “What the hell happened here, Coli?” said Trip. He sounded mad.
    I tried to open my eyes so I could glare at him and tell him what a ho-bag his cousin is, but my eyelids wouldn’t obey my command. All I could get out was a low moan that I wasn’t even sure anyone heard. My arms and legs felt like rubber bands.
    Slowly, other sensations woke up and I stopped worrying so much about what they were saying and focused more on the burning pain that was coming from my arm. I groaned louder this time, but the voices around me continued to ignore my wordless pleas.
    “Give her to me,” said the third voice. It was familiar but more serious than I remembered anyone other than the chiefs ever sounding around here. It sounded like Kowi but it wasn’t.
    “You shouldn’t be doing that. Your leg…” said Coli. But her voice was cut off.
    I felt myself lifted up into someone’s arms; they were warm and strong, reminding me of Bodo. But I knew it wasn’t my boyfriend who held me. This person smelled differently. Not bad or anything, but not like Bodo. The tears came again and I let them, blocking out the sounds and the feelings that tried to come, trying to escape into oblivion again. But Coli’s annoying voice wouldn’t let me.
    “I don’t know why you’re babying her like this. She attacked me .”
    “You probably deserved it,” said the voice carrying me. It was more familiar now, with its smiling tone.
    “Shut up, Paci. She’s the one who deserves to be slapped around a little. Always walking around here like her stuff doesn’t smell.”
    “Take a look in the mirror, Coli. I think you’re talking about yourself. It’s called reflection,” said Paci.
    “Shut the hell up,” said Trip. “Let’s just get her back to the clinic and we’ll figure everything out there.”
    “I’m not going,” said Coli. “I’ll see you guys later.”
    “Not so fast,” said Trip. “You’re going with us. I’m executing my power as chief over you, officially.”
    “Are you kidding me? That’s bullcrap. I am not responsible for her attitude. I have nothing to say anymore about it, so you don’t need me there.”
    I heard the sounds of scuffling and tried to open my eyes, but my brain didn’t want to let me.
    “Let me go , Trip!”
    “No. You’re coming with us.”
    “Fine! I can walk by myself. I don’t need you babysitting me, you jerk.”
    She was really fuming now, and all I could do was smile. I heard a quiet voice near my face.
    “I see you smiling. Good for you. Just hang on to that,” said Paci. I knew his words were for me, and I doubted anyone else had heard them. Coli was making too big of a stink right now.
    I was finally able to open my heavy lids a few minutes later and look around, as we were entering the area around the clinic. All of the pallets outside of it were gone now, and just a few kids from the canner place remained inside. One of them was LaShay. I avoided looking at her or Paci, closing my eyes instead. I was embarrassed to be coming in here like this when there were so many other kids with bigger problems than mine.
    “What’s her deal?” asked LaShay.
    Paci laid me gently on a cot, and I opened my eyes again. Before I could thank him, he