Apocalypsis 03 - Exodus

Yes, I’m feeling sick about taking someone’s life. I thought I’d be okay with it, since the guy was evil. But imagining it and doing it are totally different things. I just didn’t realize how different until now.”
    I put my hand up to my eyes, covering them as I squeezed my temples, trying to block visions of Bodo’s face from my mind. “And we left Bodo behind,” I whispered hoarsely. “I can’t get over that. I need to know what happened to him.”
    Winky leaned over and whispered near my ear. “I’ll make you a deal. You get better, and I’ll go back with you and see what we can find.”
    I pulled my hand away from my face and looked at her in shock. That she would offer was one thing; but the fact that her face and tone were dead serious and that she was actually going to do it, was nothing short of amazing. Friends this loyal didn’t come around very often. Having Coli around made it easier to appreciate what Winky was offering me.
    “You’d do that? Why?”
    She shrugged. “You’re part of our tribe now. Family does what family needs done.”
    “It’s not that simple,” I said, knowing as she spoke that neither Kowi nor Trip would allow us to go back. It was too risky.
    “Sure it is. Bodo needs to be found. There’s no one more motivated or qualified to do that than you and me.”
    I winced. “How’s that? I’ve been on one mission and I’m still in the clinic while everyone else is acting like life’s all back to normal. My qualifications seem pretty sucky.”
    “First of all, you suffered more losses than anyone. You’ve lost the love of your life, right? And you watched a great kid kill himself to save you. Not to mention, you killed a guy with your bare hands, which is different than shooting him, I think.”
    I started to cry again, silently.
    “But nothing changes the fact that no one can kick canner butt like you. And no one can track like me. So together, we make the perfect Bodo rescue team.”
    My mind was swirling around with questions and the possible implications of what she was saying. My tears stopped and I felt energized for the first time since this whole crapstorm began. The sudden mood swings were making me feel unbalanced, but I kept talking anyway.
    “You’re serious? That you and I could go back there and find him?”
    “Or what came of him. I’m not promising we’ll find him alive.” She reached over and took my good hand. “I don’t mean to be harsh, but he could be dead. But at least we’ll know. I’ll do my best to find answers with you.”
    “Who else will go with us?”
    “No one,” she said quietly. “I’m pretty sure Trip and Kowi will say no if they know about it. So we do this on our own. No Peter, either. No offense, but he’s pretty useless in battle.”
    I smiled, feeling a sliver of happiness make its way into my heart. “He made it out without a scratch.”
    “Well, you missed the bruise on his jaw. He got punched by a canner after he tried to palm thrust him or something, remember?”
    I thought back to my tree-surveillance and remembered something happening like that. “Oh, yeah. Poor guy.”
    “Yeah, well, he’s got heart, I’ll give him that much. But I think he’d be more of a liability than anything else.”
    “Who’d be a liability? For what?” came Peter’s voice. He walked up and stood near my head.
    “Nobody you know,” said Winky. “Did you come to assist?”
    “Oh, heck no. That’s gross. I’m just here to tell Bryn that Kowi wants to see her.”
    “Why can’t he come over to me?” I asked. It’s not that I was refusing to see him, but I couldn’t even make it to the bathroom without passing out.
    “He’s injured,” was all Peter would say before walking out.
    “What’s up with Kowi?” I asked.
    Winky got up and came back with a bottle of water and a bowl. She put the bowl on the floor and leaned my arm over the bed, rinsing the wound and letting it drain down. I winced at the stinging pain.
    “He got sliced in the gut. It’s pretty bad. I think he’s going to be okay, but he’s staying in the clinic so we can keep an eye on him. It’s been hard keeping him in bed, so we don’t want to encourage him getting up too much.” She patted down my wound and lifted it up for closer inspection. “You can go see him when I’m done here.”
    Some stitches were still in place and others were hanging by torn skin. The cut was about six inches long and deep enough to make me feel woozy