Apocalypsis 03 - Exodus

my dad had taught me and I had taught Peter. It made me smile to see my dad’s influence on him like that. It lightened my heavy heart just a touch.
    Paci left the hut and I followed behind, not sure where he was taking me. I’d never been the way he was going before, probably because it was a maze of cypress trees that had grown into a web of roots that rose out of the ground several feet, some of them indistinguishable from branches. It wasn’t an easy stroll down a well-worn path by any means.
    He stopped at a big group of trees and roots, pointing up to one that looked like a loveseat hanging in the air. “Let’s sit up there.”
    I nodded once. It was kind of cool, actually, this natural hangout up in the trees. It reminded me of the treehouse I’d always wanted. Paci led the way to the base of the tree hosting the seat and used well-worn nobs and branch-steps to work his way up. Soon we were both sitting side-by-side on the natural seat, looking out through the trees and down to the ground below.
    “Thanks for coming out here with me. I know you have a big day ahead of you.”
    “No problem. This is cool.”
    An awkward silence fell over us. I busied myself with trying to visually separate the crunchy leaves from the not-so-crunchy ones on the ground, making a plan for a silent disappearance, for no reason other than to avoid thinking about my feelings for Paci which were growing more confusing and stressful by the day, hour, and minute.
    “I know I’ve been acting weird around you,” said Paci, “and I’m sorry about that.”
    I looked at him, surprised. “You’ve been acting weird? I thought I was the weirdo.”
    He smiled. “No. It was me. You’re as cool as you’ve ever been.”
    I nudged him with the side of my body. “Thanks. I think you’re lying, but thanks anyway.”
    “I like you, Bryn. I mean … I really like you.”
    My throat closed up a little bit as my pulse rate doubled and then tripled. My voice sounded strained when it was finally able to work again. “So you’re just gonna come right out and say it, huh?”
    He laughed. “Yeah. I figured I might as well. You’re gonna shoot me down anyway, right?”
    My face was burning and I was sweating now. I sighed. “There’s no use denying that I think you’re … you know … really good looking. And funny. And fun to be around. But you know I have to find Bodo …”
    “Yeah, yeah, I know. I get it. I respect that. I mean, if you were my girl, I’d want to know you loved me that much - to come after me like that.”
    “It’s a real relief to hear you say that, Paci; because I don’t want to be mean to you or treat you bad. I think you’re a really special person.”
    “No harm, no foul. I’m cool. You’ll probably hate me in a second anyway when I say one last thing.”
    I was instantly wary. “What? Do I really want to know? Maybe you can just not say it.”
    “No. I have to say it. I know I would always regret it if I didn’t.” He turned to look at me and said, “I just want to say that if you go out there, and you don’t find him, or you do and it’s bad news, I want to be the next guy in line.”
    My emotions were jumbled up and mixed around like the roots of the tree I was sitting on. There were feelings for both guys inside me, twisted together so much, I couldn’t see where one started and the other began. How can I want to find Bodo with everything I have, and at the same time wish I could be with Paci just once, to see how it could be? I stood up, disgusted with myself, grabbing the branch beside me. “I’ve gotta go, Paci. I can’t deal with this right now.” I’ve gotta get out of here before I do something stupid.
    He stood up next to me and grabbed the same branch, towering over me and blocking my way to the tree’s trunk where I could climb down. “I’m sorry to lay that on you. Don’t be mad. I just had to get it off my chest, and let you know how I feel.”
    “That’s cool.” I said, looking down. “I’m not mad. But I’ve really gotta go.”
    He reached up with his free hand and put his finger under my chin, tilting my face up so I was forced to look at him. I tried not to look but it would have been weak and childish to refuse to meet his gaze, so I did. Within seconds, his earnest, almost slightly pained expression and the chocolaty brown of his eyes, ringed by eyelashes so dark they made him look like he was wearing smudged eyeliner, drew me in, making me feel a little