Apocalypsis 04 - Haven

Derek dragged her out of the room and back to her cell. She shouted profanities the entire way.
    “Well,” said Paci, looking at Trip and then me. “That was interesting.”
    “She’s lucky she’s a chick,” said Trip.
    “Since when?” I asked, laughing a little. “I seem to recall being a chick and you pulling a knife on me.”
    “You’re not a chick,” he said, smiling evilly. “You’re the ball-biter.”
    “Call me that one more time and see what happens.”
    He pointed over my shoulder. “Careful, my bodyguard is here.”
    I turned around to find Peter at my back. “Here he is,” I said, moving out of his way. “Mister righteously indignant himself.”
    “Hey, watch your tongue,” he said, moving to stand next to Trip. “I have a right to be offended at her words.”
    “No one’s saying you don’t,” said Paci. “So when does she leave?” he asked. “And were you serious? Bodo really offered to go.”
    I nodded. It felt weird telling Paci. “He says he needs to leave. He’ll go there first and maybe to the Keys. He’s not sure yet.”
    “You’re okay with that?” asked Peter, worry in his eyes.
    “No. I’m worried about his safety.”
    “What about …” Paci left his question hanging and I didn’t bother answering.
    “Better get them ready to go tomorrow, Peter,” I said. “Food, a weapon for Bodo, but nothing for her.”
    “Gotcha. Consider it done.” He looked up at Trip. “Feel like helping me pack?”
    “Do I have to?” he asked, looking down with a serious expression on his face.
    “Yes, of course. Don’t fool yourself into thinking my questions are actually questions.”
    “Oh, believe me, I won’t.” Trip rolled his eyes. “Catch you guys later.” He followed Peter out of the room, waiting for the crowd ahead to make room for their passage. He didn’t shake Peter off when Peter took his hand in his and pulled him along.
    “They’re cute, aren’t they?” I asked.
    Paci stood just behind me. “Yes. I never thought I’d say that about Trip and another guy, but it’s true. They go together well.”
    I sighed. I was so happy for him. I sent out a silent prayer into the universe that they’d stay that way - happy and comfortable together, with no lies between them.
    “Bodo’s leaving. I can’t believe it.”
    Paci’s words made goosebumps go up my arms. “Yes. It’s unreal.” I almost whispered it, I was so distracted by visions of my memories flashing across my mind’s eye. Bodo jumping out of the water with a huge grin on his face, teasing Peter about his doodling, Paci and me in the tree, Paci fighting and proving himself. Two great guys. Both of them had brought me joy and laughter and love. But only one of them had brought me pain.
    I felt Paci’s warm hand settle on the cool skin of my elbow. I turned to face him.
    “Are you sad he’s leaving?” Paci stared into my eyes.
    I knew my answer was very important to him. “I’m very sad.”
    Paci’s face fell. “Oh.”
    “Because I love him and worry about him getting killed.”
    Paci nodded his head, his nostrils flaring.
    “But not because I want to be with him.”
    Paci had been about to withdraw his hand, but instead held on. “You don’t? Why not?”
    “Because. He hurt me. He lied to me. I know he loves me, but I can’t trust him with my heart.”
    “Could he have done something that bad, that it can’t be forgiven?”
    “I’ve forgiven him. I just can’t forget. Every time I think about it, it hurts all over again.”
    Paci nodded. “Maybe I can get a shot at your heart now. If you’re not too gun shy. If I didn’t blow it already by forcing myself on you that one time.”
    I smiled sadly. “You didn’t force yourself on me. I let it happen. We both know that.” I sighed, the weight of all of it still so heavy. “Let’s just take it one day at a time, okay? I’m not in any hurry to frolic in the meadow naked, but I’m not saying I’m closed off to a relationship either.”
    He laughed. “Frolic in a meadow?”
    “What? Don’t laugh. That’s how I picture true love or whatever.” My face was burning with embarrassment.
    “Okay, good to know. So when you strip off all your clothes and run through a field with me, I’ll know it’s the real deal?”
    I laughed as I turned to leave the room. “Yeah. Then you’ll know.”
    “What meadow?” he asked, walking out behind me. “Will any meadow do or is there a special one you have in mind?”
    “Any