Apocalypsis 04 - Haven

so didn’t need rejection in my life right now.
    I squeezed the clips that kept the water inside the plastic bladders that were extended above my head. Gritting my teeth at the pain of water flowing over my wound, I bent over and took the soap bottle, pouring some of its contents over my arm. I scrubbed until I nearly wept with the pain. Once the soap was all rinsed away, I let the clips go and walked back over to Bodo. Watery blood dripped down my arm and off my hand.
    Bodo’s back was rigid. He was staring out into the evening-lit field that reached the edge of the shower area.
    “Can you put the bandage back on for me?”
    He turned around and grabbed a piece of his t-shirt at the bottom, ripping another strip off. “Let me clean it first.” He walked over to the hose and soap, scrubbing the material and rinsing it well. When he was done, he came back and wrapped it around my arm, putting the knot once again over the wound. The mosquitos were out in full force, buzzing around the bandage and my face.
    “Let’s move. I have to get away from these bugs.”
    “Do you know where da looms are?” he asked, following behind me.
    “Yes.” I was mad at him, so I said nothing else. We were in a life and death situation, and he was doing the bare minimum to help me out.
    So he was a friend now, and not a boyfriend. He was making it very clear. I tried to ignore the painful squeezing in my chest, but it was impossible. I’d always considered Bodo a caring, loving person. Peter had convinced me that I was a special person to Bodo, someone he didn’t want to live without. But every signal he was sending said otherwise. I didn’t like being this confused or in the dark about my own love life. Things should be simpler than this. If you love someone, just love them. If you don’t, then don’t. But don’t say one thing and do another. Why did guys have to be such jerks?
    “Do you want to talk?” asked Bodo, as we moved along the trail to the pool area and loom hut.
    “Yes and no,” I admitted, speaking softly. Coli was still out there somewhere, but she’d been so out of it and loud earlier, I allowed myself a measure of confidence that I’d hear her before I saw her next time.
    “We haff a problem.”
    “Yes. Obviously.”
    “Part of it iss my fault.”
    “Ya think?” If this was going to be how I was the bad guy and had caused all this bullcrap, I was going to blow my stack. I had so little patience right now.
    “Yes. I wass not very forgivingk when you told me about Paci.”
    “No, you weren’t. Nor were you very understanding. I think you’ve been a real jerk about the whole thing if you want to know.” It was easier to say these things to him walking in front, not being able to see his face. I felt more free to speak my mind.
    “But Paci is da wrong guy. If it wass Rob or Fohi, den I would say okay. But not Paci.”
    “Why not Paci? What’s the big deal about him?”
    Bodo didn’t answer for a while. When he finally did, he sounded as confused as I felt. “I don’t know. Because he luffs you, I think. He iss different.”
    My face started burning. “He doesn’t love me. He might like me, but there’s no way he can love me. He doesn’t even know me.”
    “A person does not needt to know all of your secrets to luff you Bryn. You can trust me on dis.”
    I stopped walking and turned partway. “It’s all about the secrets with you, isn’t it, Bodo?”
    His body immediately took on a defensive posture. He was practically screaming guilt at me. “No. Dare are no secrets. I know your secret now.”
    “But you have secrets,” I said, getting mad again. “You’re keeping secrets from me, I know you are.”
    “Why do you say dat?” He searched my face.
    “I know you. I know when you’re acting guilty. This is just like when you kept Nina from me, when you acted all mad at me for stupid reasons. Something big is going on with you, and you’re not telling me.”
    “Dat’s crazy. I’m just Bodo! Mr. Bryn!” He reached out to put his hand on my shoulder, but I shied away. He was trying to smile and laugh me off, but it was so hollow it made goosebumps come up on my arms.
    “You’re not Mr. Bryn. Not anymore.” My ears burned. I couldn’t believe I’d actually said it out loud. I’d been thinking it, and my heart had been feeling it, but now it was out there - a big hulking gorilla standing on the path between us.
    His face fell. “You are breaking up with me? Like Coli said