Apocalypsis 04 - Haven

happened for me. But I hardened my heart to his beautiful face and trembling smile. Truth needed to happen here. Without the truth we could never move forward.
    “You won’t lose me. Not as a friend or a family member. We’ll always be that so long as you want to be.”
    “But I want more dan dat.”
    “Then be honest with me.”
    “Okay. I will do it. I will tell you. I kissed her, okay? I did dat. Two times. Maybe three times. But dat’s all.” He stepped forward, intending to take my hands again, but I moved once more.
    My gut was twisting and burning. I wanted to vomit. Anger turned my neck and cheeks bright red.
    “I can’t believe you.” I was speaking through gritted teeth, trying to keep the rage controlled.
    “I was a prisoner! You can’t blame me! Dare was drugs!”
    “But you gave me so much shit for kissing Paci, and I only did it once and I thought you were dead! You knew I was alive! You knew I was waiting for you!”
    “You could be dead too! You were in da fight too!”
    I shook my head at him. “I think you’re lying about the drugs. And you’re lying about how many times you kissed her, too. Who knows … maybe you’re lying about sleeping with her!”
    Bodo lunged for me, getting near enough that he could grab my hands in an iron grip and pull me close to him. “No! I did not sleep with her. I swear on my life, I did not do dat!”
    My blood ran ice cold. I yanked my hands from his grip. “No denial of anything else, though, I see.” I turned to leave.
    “Where are you goingk? We need to talk. I want you to forgive me.”
    I had taken about ten steps, but I stopped in my tracks and turned around. I was rapidly losing my cool. “I’m going inside, Bodo. I’m going to be with all the people who are counting on me to keep my shit together and make their world a happy, safe place. I’m going to pretend you didn’t just stab me through the heart with a knife. And I’m going to pretend for a just a little while longer that you haven’t been crucifying me for a single kiss when all signs said you were dead, while all along you were guilty of worse. But very soon, I’m going to stop pretending. And hopefully by then I’ll be in the right frame of mind to decide what to do about us.”
    “Maybe you don’t have all dat time.” He was being arrogant now. “Maybe you haff to decide soon or I will make dat decision.”
    “Do what you have to do, Bodo. I’m done here.” I walked away, quickly putting distance between us so I wouldn’t be tempted to go incapacitate him. He so deserved an eye-gouging right now. Or a palm thrust to the adam’s apple.
    Friggin hypocrite! How dare he come down on me for kissing Paci when he did so much worse! I’ll bet he messed with her the entire time he was there. And then a more disturbing thought came to mind. Maybe he really didn’t even try to escape. I ran to the latrine and made it there just in time to throw up in the hole in the ground.
    ***
    Peter found me outside as I was stepping out of the smelly latrine enclosure.
    “Here you are. I’ve been looking all over for you. The Amazons are anxious to be on their way. They have something to discuss with you first, though.”
    “Yes, I know. I’m coming.” My voice was hoarse from the heaving and the tears I’d been crying. I knew my face looked like hell.
    “Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong?” Peter had finally noticed my eyes. “You’ve been crying.” He reached up to wipe my cheeks.
    “And barfing, so don’t get too close.”
    He jerked his hand away and reached into his pocket, taking out a cloth. He used that to wipe my cheeks instead, giving me a weak smile. “Better?”
    I nodded. “Thanks.”
    “What happened. Was it Bodo?”
    “Yes. Bodo.” Even saying his name hurt.
    “What did he do? Was it bad? I know you two are having troubles.”
    “It’s worse than bad.” My voice broke. “I can’t talk about it now, though. Later. I have to meet with Kirsten before she leaves and takes her stuff with her.”
    “Want me in on that meeting?” He took my hand and walked with me towards the building.
    “Yes. That would be great if you could spare the time.”
    “Always have time to spare for you, ball-biter, you know that.”
    “If you call me that again, I’m going to have to bite your balls.”
    “Okay, Bryn. I will not be calling you that name ever again, I promise. Bryn. Bryn it is. Miz Mathis. Queen Bryn.”
    “I’m serious, Peter. I don’t have it in me