Apocalypsis 04 - Haven

discuss the birds and some other things?” I asked.
    “Sure. Is Bodo going to join us?” She stood and helped her friend up.
    I felt sick at the question. “If you want.”
    She shrugged. “Sure. If he wants to.” It was the first time I saw her acting not one hundred percent sure of herself.
    I smiled, but the gesture didn’t reach my eyes. “I’m just going to go find him. I’ll be back in a few.”
    I couldn’t wait anymore. I had to know what in the hell was going on with those two or I was going to blow and it wasn’t going to be pretty.
    I walked outside, headed to the garden area where I was pretty certain I’d find my wayward boyfriend.
    ***
    I found Bodo staring at the future home of the promised tomatoes. He was so deep in thought he didn’t even know I was there until I spoke.
    “Hello.”
    He jumped a little and turned. His face immediately flamed up, and he looked at the ground. “Hello, Bryn. I didn’t see you dare.”
    “I’m sneaky like that. Ninja style. What are you doing out here?”
    “Checking da layout of da garden from what Peter told me. I think it will work.”
    “Good. And you’ll still be here to get it all done?”
    He looked up at me sharply. “What does dat mean? Of course I will be here. Where else can I be?”
    I shrugged and put my hands in the back pockets of my shorts. “You could be here. You could be with the Amazons. You could be anywhere you want to be.” I studied his face for a reaction, but he was too hard to read.
    His voice was lower now. “Why do you say da Amazons? Do you wish you left me dare?”
    “No. Not at all. But I think if you ever had to leave here, that’s where you’d go.” I almost couldn’t get the words out; they were practically choking me. But I had to have this conversation with him. Things couldn’t be left unsaid anymore. It was too stressful and unfair to everyone.
    “Maybe dat’s true.” He looked off in the distance.
    “I wonder why that is, though, you know?” I was hoping he’d do the right thing and just tell me what there was to tell. I didn’t like digging. It made me feel needy and distrustful.
    “It could be anything,” he said, still not looking at me.
    I touched his arm. “But it’s not just anything, is it?”
    He finally looked at me. There were tears in his bloodshot eyes. “Dare is something I want to tell you.”
    “I’m ready to hear it, I think.” That was pretty much a lie, but I couldn’t live with not hearing it, so this was what I was left with. Tell me what I don’t want to hear.
    “When I was with da Amazon girls. When I was with Kirsten …”
    Just the sound of her name felt like a stab to the heart.
    “… something happened. Something dat I didn’t mean and dat it wasn’t really me.”
    I sensed an excuse coming on and it made my temper kick in.
    “You know dat dey used drugs in dare.”
    “I know that they sometimes use drugs in there. But not all the time.”
    He dropped his gaze to the ground. “Yes, dat is true. Dare was not always da drugs.”
    “So, what did you do, Bodo? Did you sleep with her? With Kirsten?” Please say no!
    “No, of course I didt not sleep with her!” Bodo was looking me in the eyes now, grabbing my hands. “I didt not do dat! I promise you.”
    I pulled my hands away. “But you did something . What was it?”
    He tried to reach for me again, but I stepped back. His hands fell to his sides. “Okay, I will tell you. But it is important dat you remember dat I was a prisoner.”
    “How could I forget?” I asked, getting angrier by the second.
    “Dare was one time. Or a couple times maybe, dat Kirsten came to talk to me. And I wass feeling very sad about you and about losing my home and Nina and all da things … all da things dat I hadt once and now I don’t have. And when we talked, it wass like we were da same person. We made a connection, like for friends.”
    I raised an eyebrow. “Friends?”
    “Yes. Friends.”
    I sighed heavily, now on the verge of crying and screaming both. “Bodo, please don’t try and bullshit me into believing that all you did was have a conversation with Kirsten, okay? I’m not that naive. I may not be the most experienced girl in the world when it comes to guys, but I know guilt when I see it. You did something with her - maybe it wasn’t sex, but it was something. Just tell me and get it over with.”
    “But I don’t want to lose you.” Tears fell from his eyes and ran down his cheeks.
    The same