Baby Be Mine

window to let in some air and see that Christian is in the pool.
    ‘Come in, it’s beautiful,’ he calls.
    I didn’t bother to get changed out of my bikini for the car journey home so all I have to do is grab Barney’s baby monitor and step back into my flip-flops by the front door to avoid scalding my feet on the scorching stone tiles. I wander around to the side of the house, untying my black sarong as I go and trying not to disturb the bees buzzing away at the lavender lining the path. Several yellow butterflies flit around the purple flowers as I pass and I breathe in deeply and smile to myself. At moments like these, it’s impossible not to feel happy. I walk to the steps and go in. The cool water of the pool takes my breath away, but it’s almost instantly lovely. I swim over to Christian and he puts his hands on my waist. He bends down for a kiss, and for the first time in what seems like ages, I kiss him back.
    ‘I love having sex outside in the hot sun,’ he says later.
    ‘You say that like you’ve done it often.’ I tie my sarong back around my waist. Christian is still lying naked on the sunlounger in front of me. It’s just as well this house isn’t overlooked by the neighbours. Christian smirks.
    ‘What? Have you done it often?’ I pry, curious now, but not jealous.
    ‘Once or twice,’ he replies with a grin that implies it was substantially more than that.
    ‘Who with? Clare?’ That was his last serious girlfriend. ‘Actually, I don’t want to know,’ I decide.
    ‘Haven’t you?’ He turns the tables on me.
    ‘No.’ I rack my brain to be sure. No, not with Johnny. And most certainly not with the other guys I’ve been out with in my life.
    ‘That’s a travesty. I’ll have to help you make up for lost time,’ he teases.
    ‘That’s not going to be easy with Barney around,’ I comment, before nodding down at him. ‘You should get dressed. He’ll be awake soon.’
    He sighs. ‘Don’t you ever wish it was just the two of us?’
    ‘That’s a terrible thing to say!’ I exclaim.
    ‘I don’t mean it terribly. I don’t know . . .’ He doesn’t continue, instead rising to his feet and putting on his almost-dry swimming trunks.
    I stand and stare at him. ‘Do you wish we had more time to ourselves?’
    ‘Yeah, just to talk and – you know, without being interrupted. I wish our parents lived closer.’
    ‘It would be nice to have them around to help more,’ I agree. ‘Are your mum and dad still planning a trip?’
    ‘I think so, but Dad’s really busy at work at the moment.’
    ‘Hasn’t he found a replacement for Joel yet?’
    ‘No.’
    Christian’s dad, Eugen, owns an electrical store in Newcastle. He used to run it with Christian’s younger brother, Joel, but Joel quit the business recently to go and live with his girlfriend in her native Australia.
    ‘Mum might come out by herself. She’s having withdrawal symptoms from her grandson.’
    Mandy, his mum, is besotted with Barney. If she knew he wasn’t hers . . . It’s too horrendous to contemplate.
    ‘That’d be nice,’ I say. I like Christian’s mum, feisty though she may be. She’s from Newcastle, whereas Christian’s dad hails from Sweden. It still impresses me that Christian is bilingual.
    I really should practise my French . . .
    A noise comes from the nearby baby monitor.
    ‘I’ll get him,’ I say, heading inside to retrieve my little sleepyhead. He’s lying awake in his cot, staring at the colourful boat mobile above his head. ‘Come on, you.’ He grips me around my neck with his chubby fingers and presses his face into my shoulder as I walk back down the corridor. A powerful wave of love throbs through me. I can barely imagine my life before he came along. The thought of being without him now . . .
    That’s not to say I’ve found motherhood easy. The first few months came as a complete shock. Christian was working so hard and I ended up doing the lion’s share of the work – both with the baby and around the house. I cried a lot. I was exhausted beyond belief from getting up in the night to breastfeed, yet I would still lie awake thinking about everything. Even though Barney was born with a head full of dark hair and people said he looked like Christian, I could never be sure. His eyes were blue. Maybe they’d turn brown like Mummy and Daddy’s, as everyone presumed, but I used to torment myself that they’d turn green instead. Which of course they did.

 
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