Best Kept Secret

start by explaining how we intend to
go about getting your book on to the bestseller list, because it’s very different from the way you do things in England.’
    Harry opened the folder and tried to concentrate. He’d never before sat next to a woman who looked as if she’d been poured into her dress.
    ‘In America,’ Natalie continued, ‘you’ve only got three weeks to make sure your book hits the
New York Times
bestseller list. If you don’t make it into the
top fifteen during that time, the bookstores will pack up their stock of
Nothing Ventured
and return them to the publisher.’
    ‘That’s crazy,’ said Harry. ‘In England once a bookseller has placed an order, as far as the publisher is concerned the book is sold.’
    ‘You don’t offer bookstores a sale or return option?’
    ‘Certainly not,’ said Harry, shocked by the idea.
    ‘And is it also true that you still sell books without offering a discount?’
    ‘Yes, of course.’
    ‘Well, you’re going to find that’s the other big difference over here, because if you do make it into the top fifteen, the cover price will automatically be halved, and your
book will be moved to the back of the store.’
    ‘Why? Surely a bestseller should be prominently displayed at the front of the shop, even in the window, and certainly not be discounted.’
    ‘Not since the advertising boys discovered that if a customer comes in looking for a particular bestseller, and they have to go to the back of the store to find it, one in five customers
buys two more books on their way to the sales counter, while one in three picks up another one.’
    ‘Clever, but I’m not sure that will ever catch on in England.’
    ‘I suspect it will only be a matter of time, but at least you’ll now appreciate why it’s so important to get your book on the list as quickly as possible, because once the
price is halved, you’re likely to stay in the top fifteen for several weeks. In fact, it’s harder to get off the list than to get on. But if you fail,
Nothing Ventured
will
have disappeared from the bookshelves a month today, and we will have lost a great deal of money.’
    ‘I get the message,’ said Harry as the limousine passed slowly over Brooklyn Bridge and he was reunited with yellow cabs and their cigar-stub-smoking drivers.
    ‘What makes it even tougher is that we have to visit seventeen different cities in twenty-one days.’
    ‘We?’
    ‘Yes, I’ll be holding your hand throughout the trip,’ she said casually. ‘I usually stay in New York and allow a local publicist in each city to look after visiting
authors, but not this time, because Mr Guinzburg insisted I wasn’t to leave your side.’ She lightly touched his leg again, before turning a page of the folder on her lap.
    Harry glanced at her, and she gave a coquettish smile. Was she flirting with him? No, that wasn’t possible. After all, they’d only just met.
    ‘I’ve already got you booked on to several of the major radio stations, including the
Matt Jacobs Show
, which has eleven million listeners every morning. No one’s more
effective than Matt when it comes to moving books out of the stores.’
    Harry had several questions he would like to have asked, but Natalie was like a Winchester rifle, a bullet was fired every time you raised your head.
    ‘Be warned,’ she continued, not drawing breath, ‘most of the big shows won’t give you more than a few minutes – it’s not like your BBC. “In depth”
is not a concept they understand. During that time remember to repeat the title of the book as often as possible.’
    Harry began to turn the pages of his tour schedule. Each day seemed to begin in a new city, where he would appear on an early-morning radio show, followed by countless broadcast and print
interviews before dashing off to the airport.
    ‘Do all your authors get this kind of treatment?’
    ‘Certainly not,’ said Natalie, the hand back on the leg again. ‘Which brings me to the biggest problem we have with you.’
    ‘You have a problem with me?’
    ‘We sure do. Most of the interviewers will want to ask you about your time in prison, and how an Englishman came to win the Silver Star, but you must always switch the subject back to the
book.’
    ‘In England, that would be considered rather vulgar.’
    ‘In America, vulgar is what gets you on to the bestseller list.’
    ‘But won’t the interviewers want to talk about the book?’
    ‘Harry, you must assume