Big Breasts & Wipe Hips: A Novel

writhed passionately and let her basket fall to the ground, sending brown eggs rolling around on the brick floor. Sima Ku picked her up and laid her on top of the broad crypt cover …
    Sima Ku lay naked atop the crypt cover, his eyes half closed as he licked the tips of his dirty yellow mustache, which hadn’t been trimmed for a long time. Cui Fengxian was massaging the large knuckles of his hand with her soft fingers. All of a sudden, she laid her burning face against his bony chest, which had the smell of a wild animal, and began to bite him. “You’re a demon,” she said, a note of hopelessness in her voice. “You never come to me when things are going well, but as soon as you’re in trouble, you come and wrap your tentacles around me … I know that any woman who gets tangled up with you is in for a bad time. But I can’t control myself. You wag your tail, and I run after you like some bitch … tell me, you demon, what evil power do you have that makes women follow you, even when they know you’re leading them into a pit of fire, one they’ll jump into with their eyes wide open?”
    Sima Ku smiled even though her comment had saddened him. He took her hand and pressed it against his chest, where she could feel the strength of his heartbeat. “You have to believe in this, my heart, my true heart. I give my heart to women.”
    Cui Fengxian shook her head. “You only have one heart. How can you give it to different women at the same time?”
    “However many I give it to, it’s still genuine. And also this,” he said with a lecherous laugh as he moved her hand down his body. Cui Fengxian wrenched her hand free and pinched him on the lips. “What am I going to do with a monster like you? Even when you’re chased to the point where you have to sleep in your grave, you’ve still got time to play your silly games!”
    With a laugh, Sima Ku said, “The harder they try, the more I feel like playing. Women are true treasures, treasures among treasures, more precious than anything.” He reached out for her breasts again.
    “You lecher,” she said, “that’s enough. Something has happened at your house.” “What?” he asked as he continued fondling her. “They’ve taken them all into custody — your mother-in-law, your eldest and youngest sisters-in-law, plus your son, your little brother-in-law, the daughters of your eldest and fifth sisters-in-law, and your older brother. They have them locked up in the family compound. They string them up from the rafters nightly and beat them with whips and clubs … it breaks your heart, and I don’t think they’ll be able to hold out more than another day.”
    Sima Ku’s hands froze in front of Cui Fengxian’s chest. He jumped down off the crypt cover, picked up his automatic rifle, and bent down to scramble out of the vault. Cui Fengxian wrapped her arms around him and pleaded, “Don’t go. You’re just asking to be killed.”
    Once he’d calmed down, he sat beside a coffin and bolted down one of the boiled eggs. Sunlight filtering in through the brambles fell on his puffy cheek and the gray temple hair. The egg yolk caught in his throat; he coughed, and his face began to turn purple. Cui Fengxian thumped him on the back and massaged his neck until the food finally slipped down his gullet. Her face was bathed in sweat. “You frightened me half to death!” she said breathlessly as two large tears dropped onto Sima Ku’s cheek and rolled down. He sprang to his feet, his head nearly hitting the vault ceiling, as flames of anger seemed to leap from his eyes. “You sons of bitches, FU flay the skin off your bones!”
    “Please don’t go,” Cui Fengxian pleaded as she wrapped her arms around him. “Yang the Cripple has set a trap for you. Even a longhaired old woman like me can see what he’s up to. Use your head. By storming in there alone, you’ll fall right into his trap.”
    “So what should I do?”
    “Heed the words of your mother-in-law and get as far away from here as possible. Fll go with you if I won’t be a burden, even if I wear out the soles of my feet.”
    Sima Ku took her hand and said emotionally, “I’m a lucky man to have met so many good women, each of them willing to throw in her lot with me, heart and soul. What else could a man ask for in this life? But I can’t bring any more harm to you. You go now, Fengxian, and don’t come looking for me anymore. Don’t be sad when you hear that Fm dead. I've had a good life