Big Breasts & Wipe Hips: A Novel

“Amen” came as he stumbled wide-eyed to keep his balance, hurriedly crossing himself to bring his prayer to an end.
    Aunty Sun’s silvery hair was combed into a bun held in place by a shiny silver ornament; her sideburns were pinned with mugwort spikes. She was wearing a starched white cotton jacket with a slanted lapel that buttoned down the side; a white handkerchief was tucked in between two of the buttons. Her black cotton trousers were tied around the ankles above a pair of green cotton slippers with black embroidery and white soles. The fresh smell of soap clung to her body. She had prominent cheekbones, a high nose, and lips that formed a tight line above her chin. Bright, piercing eyes were set deeply in lovely sockets. Her poise and confident bearing stood in stark contrast to the prosperous, well-fed Shangguan Lü. Taking the bottle of green liquid from Fan Three, Shangguan Lü walked up to Aunty Sun and said softly, “Aunty, this is Fan Three’s potion to hasten childbirth. Will you use it?”
    “My dear lady Shangguan,” Aunty Sun said with obvious displeasure, her gaze covering Shangguan Lü with icy beauty, then shifting to the men in the yard, “who have you asked to help with the delivery, me or Fan Three?”
    “Don’t be angry, Aunty. As they say, ‘When a patient is dying, find doctors where you can,’ and ‘Anyone with breasts is a mother.’” Forcing herself to be congenial, she kept her voice low and controlled. “I’m asking you, of course. I wouldn’t have disturbed such an eminent personage if I hadn’t reached the end of my rope.”
    “Didn’t you once accuse me of stealing your chickens?” Aunty Sun remarked. “If you want me as the midwife, tell everyone else to stand clear!”
    “If that’s how you want it, that’s how you shall have it,” Shangguan Lü said.
    Aunty Sun removed a thin piece of red cloth from around her waist and tied it to the window lattice. She then strode purposefully into the house, and when she reached the door of the inside room, she stopped, turned, and said to Shangguan Lü, “Lady Shangguan, come with me.”
    Fan Three ran up to the window to retrieve the bottle of green liquid Shangguan Lü had left there. He stuffed it into his bag and headed quickly toward the gate, without so much as a backward glance at the Shangguan father and son.
    “Amen!” Pastor Malory repeated, making another sign of the cross. Then he nodded to the Shangguan father and son in a show of friendship.
    A shriek from Aunty Sun tore from inside the room, followed by horrible wails from Shangguan Lu.
    Shangguan Shouxi hunkered down on the ground and covered his ears with his hands. His father began pacing the yard, hands clasped behind his back, head down, as if he were looking for something he’d lost.
    Pastor Malory repeated his prayer in a muted voice, eyes cast to the misty blue sky.
    Just then the newborn mule emerged from the barn on shaky legs. Its damp hide shone like satin. Its weary mother followed it outside to the accompaniment of Shangguan Lu’s agonizing wails. With its ears standing straight up and its tail tucked between its legs, the donkey wobbled over to the water trough under a pomegranate tree, casting a fearful glance at the men in the yard. They ignored it. Shangguan Shouxi, his ears covered, was weeping loudly. Shangguan Fulu was still pacing the yard. Pastor Malory was praying with his eyes closed. The donkey buried its mouth in the water and drank noisily. When it had drunk its fill, it walked slowly over to the peanut vines held up by stalks of sorghum and began nibbling at the stalks.
    Meanwhile, inside the house, Aunty Sun stuck her hand up the birth canal to extract the baby’s other leg. The pregnant mother screeched once before passing out. Then, after inserting some yellow powder into Shangguan Lu’s nostrils, Aunty Sun grabbed the baby’s legs and waited calmly. Shangguan Lu moaned as she regained consciousness, then sneezed, causing a series of violent spasms. Her back arched, then settled back down heavily. That was what Aunty Sun had been waiting for: she pulled the baby out of the birth canal, and as its long, flat head cleared the mother’s body, it made a loud popping sound, as if shot from a cannon. Aunty Sun’s white jacket was spattered with blood.
    Hanging upside down in Aunty Sun’s hand was a purplish baby girl.
    Shangguan Lü began beating her chest and wailing. “Stop crying! There’s another one in