Big Breasts & Wipe Hips: A Novel

deity and to the paramount god of the West. When she had finished, her mental anguish and physical agonies had lessened a bit, and she thought back to that late spring day when she and the redheaded, blue-eyed Pastor Malory had lain in the grass, and he had told her that China’s Heavenly Master and the West’s God were one and the same, like the two sides of your hand, or just as the
lianhua
and
hehua
are both lotus flowers. Or, she thought bashfully, like a cock and a dick are the same thing. He stood amid the locust trees, as spring was giving way to summer, that thing of his standing up proudly … the surrounding trees in full bloom with white flowers, and red flowers, and yellow flowers, a rainbow of colors dancing in the air, their rich fragrance thoroughly intoxicating her. She felt herself rise in the air, like a cloud, like a feather. With gratitude filling her breast, she gazed at the somber and sacred, friendly and kindly smile on Pastor Malory’s face, and her eyes filled with tears.
    When she closed her eyes, the tears spilled into the creases all the way to her ears. The door was pushed open, and her mother-in-law said meekly, “Laidi’s mother, what’s wrong? You must hold out, child. Our donkey’s had a lively little mule. Now, if you have this baby, the Shangguan family can be content at last. You might be able to hide the truth from your parents, but not from a doctor. Since it doesn’t matter whether a midwife is male or female, I’ve asked Third Master Fan to come over…”
    The rare note of tenderness moved her. Opening her eyes, she looked up into the golden aura of the older woman’s face and nodded weakly. Her mother-in-law turned and summoned Fan Three. “You can come in now.”
    He entered with a long face, trying hard to look dignified. But he averted his eyes, as if he’d seen something so terrifying it drained the blood from his cheeks. “Elder sister-in-law,” he said softly as he backed to the door, his gaze resting fearfully on the body of Shangguan Lu, “raise your merciful hand and spare me. Threaten to kill me if you want, but I cannot do what you ask.” He turned and ran out the door, only to bump into Shangguan Shouxi, who was craning his neck to see what was going on inside. With disgust, Shangguan Lu noted her husband’s gaunt, pointy face, looking more like a rat than ever, as her mother-in-law ran out on the heels of Fan Three.
    “Fan Three, you fucking dog!”
    When her husband stuck his head in the door a second time, she mustered the strength to raise an arm to signal him and say icily — she couldn’t be sure if the words actually emerged from her mouth: “Come over here, you son of a bitch!” By this time, she’d forgotten her hatred and enmity toward her husband. Why take it out on him? He may be a son of a bitch, but it’s my mother-in-law who’s the bitch, an old bitch …
    “Are you talking to me?” Shangguan Shouxi asked from where he stood beside the
kang
, looking out the window in embarrassment. “What do you want?” She gazed up sympathetically at this man with whom she’d lived for twenty-one years, and felt pangs of remorse. A sea of locust blossoms rippled in the wind … in a voice as thin as a single hair, she said:
    “This child … it’s not yours …”
    In tears, Shangguan Shouxi said, “Mother of my children … don’t die on me … I’ll go get Aunty Sun …”
    “No …” She looked into her husband’s eyes and implored him, “Go beg Pastor Malory to come …”
    Out in the yard, Shangguan Lü, sensing a pain worse than having her skin flayed, took an oilpaper bundle from her pocket and peeled it back to reveal a shiny silver dollar; she clutched it tightly as the corners of her mouth curled in a grimace and her eyes glowed red. The sun shone down on her gray head; black smoke drifted over in the hot air. She heard a loud disturbance to the north, near the Flood Dragon River; bullets whistled through the air. “Fan Three,” she sobbed, “can you just stand by and watch someone die? ‘There is nothing more poisonous than a hornet’s sting and nothing more ruthless than a physician’s heart.’ They say ‘money can make the devil turn a millstone.’ Well, this silver dollar has rested against my skin for twenty years, but it’s yours in return for my daughter-in-law’s life.”
    She laid the silver dollar in Fan Three’s hand, but he flung it to the ground, as if it were a piece of hot metal. A film of