Bite Me

violating you like a hood ornament,” said Rolf, taking a snifter from the tray and swirling dark liquid under his nose. “Tuna?”
    “Just caught, bruddah,” said Kona, having trouble now balancing the tray while trying to hunch to conceal the erection tenting his baggies.
    Bella took her snifter from the tray and grinned as she turned to look out the windscreen at the City. The Transamerica Pyramid was lit up in front of them, Coit Tower just to the right, jutting from Telegraph Hill like a great concrete phallus.
    Makeda took a slinky step toward Kona, “Should I let him rub oil on me, Rolf? Do I look ashy?”
    “Just don’t eat him,” Rolf said. He sat in one of the captain’s chairs, loosened the belt of his black kimono, and began working the Kevlar bodysuit over his feet.
    “Quaint,” said Makeda. She took another step toward Kona, held her bodysuit before her, then dropped it. In aninstant she had gone to mist and streamed into the suit, which filled as if a girl-shaped emergency raft had been deployed inside. She snatched the last goblet out of the air as Kona flinched and dumped the tray.
    “Will you oil me up later, Kona?” Makeda said, standing over the surfer now as he cowered.
    “Nah need, matey, you shinin’ plenny fine. But dat other ting bein’ a rascal fo’ sure.” He held his hand to his chest and ventured a glance up at her. “Please.”
    “It’s your turn,” said Bella with a smile, her lips rouged with tuna blood.
    “Oh, all right,” said Makeda. “But use a glass.”
    Kona reached into the pocket of his baggies and came out with a shot glass, which he held with both hands before his head like a Buddhist monk receiving alms.
    She pushed her thumb against one of her fangs, then let the blood drip into Kona’s shot glass. Ten drops in, she pulled her thumb away and licked it. “That’s all you get.”
    “Oh, mahalo, sistah. Jah’s love on ya.” He drained the blood then licked the shot glass clean, as Makeda watched and sipped her tuna blood. After a full minute, with the ersatz Hawaiian still lapping away at the glass, his breath heaving like he was hoisting the anchor by hand, she took the shot glass and held it away from him. “You’re done.”
    “Bug eater,” Bella said, disgusted. Now she was in her own bodysuit and had drained her goblet of blood.
    “Oh, I think he’s cute,” said Makeda. “I may let him oil me up yet.” She ruffled Kona’s dreadlocks. He was staring blankly into space, his mouth open, drooling.
    “Just don’t eat him,” Rolf said.
    “Stop saying that. I won’t eat him,” said Makeda.
    “He’s a licensed captain. We need him.”
    “All right. I’m not going to eat him.”
    Bella walked over, yanked a dreadlock from Kona’s head, and used it to tie back her own, waist-length black hair. The surfer didn’t flinch. “Bug eater,” she repeated.
    Rolf was back at the cabinet, snapping together various bits of weaponry. “We should go. Grab a hood, gloves to go with the sunglasses. Elijah said they had some sort of sunlight weapons.”
    “This is different,” said Bella, gathering all the high-tech kit from the weapons cabinet, as well as a long overcoat to cover it all. “We didn’t have all this in Macao.”
    “As long as you’re not bored, darling,” said Rolf.
    “I hate cats,” said Makeda as she pulled on her gloves.

18
Carpe Noctem
    MARVIN
    M arvin the big red cadaver dog had done his job. He sat and woofed, which translated from the dog meant, “Biscuit.”
    Nine vampire hunters paused and looked around. Marvin sat in front of a small utility shed in an alley in Wine Country, behind a particularly nasty Indian restaurant.
    “Biscuit,” Marvin woofed. He could smell death amid the curries. He pawed the pavement.
    “What’s he doing?” said Lash Jefferson. He, Jeff, and Troy Lee carried Super Soakers loaded with Grandma Lee’s Vampire Cat Remedy, other Animals had garden sprayers slung on their backs, except for Gustavo, who thought that making him carry a garden sprayer was racial stereotyping. Gustavo had a flame thrower. He wouldn’t say where he got it.
    “Second Amendment, cabrones .” (The guy who sold Gustavo his green card had included two amendments from the Bill of Rights and Gustavo had chosen Two and Four, the right to bear arms and freedom from unreasonable search and seizure. [His sister Estrella had had seizures as a child. No bueno .] For five bucks extra he threw in the Third