Black Beauty

have fallen with great force. The moon had
just risen above the hedge, and by its light I could see Smith lying a few
yards beyond the hedge with sick all down the front. He did not rise, he made
one slight effort to do so, and then there was a heavy groan. I could have
groaned too, so I did. I groaned and he groaned, and then we took it in turns
to groan. Finally, we heard the sound of horse’s hooves. It was a lovely summer
night and I could hear the nightingale, only interrupted now and then by the
sound of Smith being sick.

26

HOW IT ENDED
     
    One night I heard horse’s feet
    They came from the street
    Then, oh, woe is me
    There happened a tragic tragedy
    They found a dark figure on the ground
    From which there came not a sound
    One man turned him over
    ‘’Tis Reuben Smith,’ he said
    ‘And what’s worse, he’s dead’
    So he died from alcohol
    And Aids he caught from Deptford Mall
    He will be greatly missed
    One blessing was, never again would he be pissed.
     
    It must have been nearly
midnight when I heard, at a great distance, the sound of horse’s hooves. They
came slowly, and stopped at the dark figure that lay on the ground.
    One of the men jumped out.
‘It is Reuben!’ he said, ‘and he does not stir.’
    They raised him up, then
they laid him down again, and then for fun they picked him up and laid him down
again.
    ‘I have just seen your cut
knees,’ they said.
    ‘Yes, nasty aren’t they?’ I
said.
    Robert attempted to lead me
forward. I made a step but almost fell again, so he tried leading me backwards.
    ‘Hallo! He’s bad in his
foot as well as his knees — his hoof is cut all to pieces! I tell you what!’
    ‘Tell me what?’ said Ned.
    ‘I tell you what — either
Reuben or the horse was pissed.’
    Reuben was now breathing
his last, and they all gathered round so as not to miss any of it. It was
agreed that Robert, as the groom, should lead me, and that Reuben would be put
in the dogcart. This wasn’t easy; they had to double him up with his legs
sticking under his chin.
    Robert came and looked at
my foot again, and must have felt sorry for me because they gave me tea and a
sandwich. At last I reached my own box, and Reuben was put in his box, which
unlike mine, was going underground.
    When at last my knees were
healed, they put a blistering fluid over both of them; alas, I will always have
bald knees.

27

RUINED AND GOING DOWNHILL
     
    As soon as my knees get better
    I am going to write my mother a state-of-knees letter
    I was put in a meadow, all alone
    I longed for company, even an old ageing crone
    I was able to eat great amounts of grass
    All it did was go straight thru me and out my arse
    One day, my friend Ginger came on the scene
    He was nothing like the horse he had been
    He was so very thin
    Actually, you could see right in
    Lord George had ridden him into the ground
    So deep, he couldn’t be found
    He became very, very ill
    Ruined and going downhill.
     
    As soon as my knees were
healed, I was turned into a small meadow; after a month I was turned back into
a horse again. I felt very lonely; I felt my legs, and they felt lonely. Ginger
and I had become fast friends; we did 45 miles per hour.
    One day, in came dear old
Ginger, and with a joyful whinny, I trotted up to him. We were both glad to
meet, but I soon found that it wasn’t for our pleasure he was brought to be
with me. The story would be too long to tell, at least three months, but the
end of it was that he had been ruined by hard riding, and was now turned off,
to see what rest would do. Would he become dog food?
    Soon after I left the
stable there was a steeplechase. Lord George was determined to ride, and the
groom told him he was a little strained, and not fit for the race. On the day
of the race he came in with the first three horses, but his wind was touched;
it was escaping out the back.
    One day, the Earl came into
the meadow, and York was with him. Fuck them! He examined me and said, ‘I can’t
have knees like these in my stables.’
     
    Knees
     
    You’ve got to have knees
    They’re the things that take stock when you sneeze
    You’ve got to have knees
    They only come in fours, but never threes
    You’ve got to have knees
    In the winter, fill them up with anti-freeze
    You’ve got to have knees
    Famous for having them are bees
    You’ve got to have knees
    If you want to see mine, say please
    You’ve got to have knees
    They help you run away from falling trees
    Knees — wonderful