Blood Red Road

stop myself from fallin. Nero squawks an flaps off in a flurry of feathers. I glare down at Em.
    Cut that out! I says. What’re you tryin to do, break my neck?
    Lugh’s head pops over the side of the roof. All right, Em, he says, that’s enough. Go help Pa.
    Right away, she lets go. Emmi always does what Lugh tells her.
    But I wanna help you, she says with her sulky face.
    We don’t need yer help, I says. We’re doin jest fine without you.
    Yer the meanest sister that ever lived! I hate you, Saba!
    Good! Cuz I hate you too!
    That’s enough! says Lugh. Both of yuz!
    Emmi sticks her tongue out at me an stomps off. I shin up the ladder onto the roof, crawl along an hand him the metal sheet.
    I swear I’m gonna kill her one of these days, I says.
    She’s only nine, Saba, says Lugh. You might try bein nice to her fer a change.
    I grunt an hunker down nearby. Up here on the roof, I can see everythin. Emmi ridin around on her rickety two-wheeler that Lugh found in the landfill. Pa at his spell circle.
    It ain’t nuthin more’n a bit of ground that he leveled off by stompin it down with his boots. We ain’t permitted nowhere near it, not without his say so. He’s always fussin around, sweepin clear any twigs or sand that blow onto it. He ain’t set out none of the sticks fer his rain circle on the ground yet. I watch as he lays down the broom. Then he takes three steps to the right an three steps to the left. Then he does it agin. An agin.
    You seen what Pa’s up to? I says to Lugh.
    He don’t raise his head. Jest starts hammerin away at the sheet to straighten it.
    I seen, he says. He did it yesterday too. An the day before.
    What’s all that about? I says. Goin right, then left, over an over.
    How should I know? he says. His lips is pressed together in a tight line. He’s got that look on his face agin. The blank look he gits when Pa says somethin or asks him to do somethin. I see it on him more an more these days.
    Lugh! Pa lifts his head, shadin his eyes. I could use yer help here, son!
    Foolish old man, Lugh mutters. He gives the metal sheet a extra hard whack with the hammer.
    Don’t say that, I says. Pa knows what he’s doin. He’s a star reader.
    Lugh looks at me. Shakes his head, like he cain’t believe I jest said what I did.
    Ain’t you figgered it out yet? It’s all in his head. Made up. There ain’t nuthin written in the stars. There ain’t no great plan. The world goes on. Our lives jest go on an on in this gawdfersaken place. An that’s it. Till the day we die. I tell you what, Saba, I’ve took about all I can take.
    I stare at him.
    Lugh! Pa yells.
    I’m busy! Lugh yells back.
    Right now, son!
    Lugh swears unner his breath. He throws the hammer down, pushes past me an pratikally runs down the ladder. He rushes over to Pa. He snatches the sticks from him an throws ’em to the ground. They scatter all over.
    There! Lugh shouts. There you go! That should help! That should make the gawdam rain come! He kicks Pa’s new-swept spell circle till the dust flies. He pokes his finger hard into Pa’s chest. Wake up, old man! Yer livin in a dream! The rain ain’t never gonna come! This hellhole is dyin an we’re gonna die too if we stay here. Well, guess what? I ain’t doin it no more! I’m outta here!
    I knew this would come, says Pa. The stars told me you was unhappy, son. He reaches out an puts a hand on Lugh’s arm. Lugh flings it off so fierce it makes Pa stagger backwards.
    Yer crazy, you know that? Lugh shouts it right in his face. The stars told you! Why don’t you jest try listenin to what I say fer once?
    He runs off. I hurry down the ladder. Pa’s starin at the ground, his shoulders slumped.
    I don’t unnerstand, he says. I see the rain comin.… I read it in the stars but … it don’t come. Why don’t it come?
    It’s okay, Pa, says Emmi. I’ll help you. I’ll put ’em where you want. She scrabbles about on her knees, collectin all the sticks. She looks at him with a anxious smile.
    Lugh didn’t mean it Pa, she says. I know he didn’t.
    I go right on past ’em.
    I know where Lugh’s headed.

    I find him at Ma’s rock garden.
    He sits on the ground, in the middle of the swirlin patterns, the squares an circles an little paths made from all different stones, each their own shade an size. Every last tiny pebble set out by Ma with her own hands. She wouldn’t allow that anybody should help her.
    She carefully laid the last stone in place. Sat back on her heels