Blood Red Road

they don’t belong to me. My stummick’s clenched into knots. My mouth’s dry.
    I cain’t hear myself think fer the noise of the crowd. Them that couldn’t squeeze into the Colosseum fill the streets an sit on rooftops. Even if they cain’t see what’s goin on, they can hear the shouts an roars. One way or another, they all wanna be part of the Angel’s end. Of my end.
    The chaal vendors is doin a roarin trade, strugglin through the crowds with big baskets of the dark green leaf balanced on their heads. They wanna git everybody hopped up fer the big finish.
    The Cage Master’s on his balcony, all crammed with people dressed in their finest. I can see the Pinches there—Rooster an Miz Pinch pushed into a corner. Vicar Pinch, the King, is the center of attention. He sits on a fancy golden chair an everybody dances around him, offerin him cups of this an plates of that. He waves ’em all away with his lace kercheef an stares down at the Colosseum.
    DeMalo stands nearby.
    I hope Emmi’s safe. The Free Hawks said they’d look after her, but I won’t be happy till I see her fer myself.
    I stare at the center aisle. It runs from the bottom of the Colosseum right to the top in a straight line.
    The gauntlet run.
    Maev’s in the front row on the center aisle. Right next to the gauntlet run. She gives me the tiniest nod. She looks behind her an then looks back at me.
    Fer the first ten rows or so, there’s tough-lookin girls packed in at the ends of the rows, also right next to the gauntlet run.
    I see a man try to push one of ’em outta the way. Tryin to steal her place along the gauntlet, to git closer to where the action’s gonna be. The girl don’t even look as she chops him in the throat with her elbow.
    The Free Hawks is here. Jest like Maev promised.
    Nero sits on the light tower that stands right next to the Cage. He cries out, over an over agin. He’s beside hisself with fear, I can tell. All of a sudden, he swoops down, lands on the Cage an slips in through the bars. He ain’t never done that the whole time I bin fightin.
    He flutters down to sit on my shoulder. The whole place goes quiet. Even though I’m on a losin streak, they still believe I git my powers from him. Even fer this, my last fight, they ain’t bin able to sell the cheap seats on the light tower because he’s there.
    He hops onto my hand. I rub his beak, scratch his head. He purrs in that way crows have, jest like a cat. I didn’t know how much I bin missin him till right now.
    Okay, I whisper to him, good boy Nero. He leans his head to one side. Looks straight at me with his bright black eyes. It’s okay, I says. I’m gonna be okay.
    He gives a croak. He knows what okay means. He unnerstands.
    I lift my hand an he flies outta the Cage. Lands on his usual perch on the light tower. The crowd murmurs, mutters, shifts in their seats.
    The Cage door creaks open agin an Epona walks in.
    My heart’s bangin aginst my ribs. The blood pounds in my ears.
    We face up. Eye to eye. Crouch down. The keeper sounds the gong.
    My last fight begins.

    I let Epona set the pace. Let her chase me round the Cage, corner me, hurt me.
    But then the red hot kicks in. I try to shove it down, push it away, but it rips through me. Takes me over. The red hot don’t know Maev. It don’t know she’s got a plan. It don’t trust her. Because the red hot don’t know plans or people or trust. It only knows one thing. Survival.
    An I cain’t keep it down. It’s wild. Cornered. It starts to fight Epona. It fights fer my life.
    What’re you doin? she says, her eyes wide. Epona’s strong. She’s smart. She pushes me to the edge. But I push right back. I got more to lose than her, with the gauntlet in my sights.
    We fight till we’re both bloodied, battered, exhausted.
    At last she makes a mistake. I git her by the throat. I push her aginst the bars. The crowd goes crazy. They leap to their feet. Outta the corner of my eye, I see Maev. By her face, I know she cain’t believe what she’s seein. She waves her arms at me. Her mouth moves. Sayin somethin I cain’t hear.
    But it’s the red hot that fills my ears now. Roars at me to squeeze Epona’s neck. My hands tighten. Wait! No! No! I grit my teeth, think of smotherin the red hot with blackness, holdin it down in deep black water till it cain’t breathe. There’s somethin … I know I gotta do somethin or … remember somethin but I … cain’t git hold of it, cain’t …
    Lugh. Lugh. I