Blood Red Road

edges of steep, heavily wooded slopes that all press in close together.
    This land don’t please me. Too closed in. Too dark. Not enough sky.
    We set up camp inside the ruins of a big stone buildin that stands beside a stream in a little rocky valley. Nero swoops in an out through the windows, cawin with glee as he scatters the roostin pigeons. Ash an Jack bring down a couple of ’em fer supper.
    They all chatter away while they build a fire an git the water boilin fer a brew of sage tea. Epona plucks an guts the pigeons with Emmi’s help. Then she shoves ’em on a spit an sets ’em to roast.
    I sit on my own a little ways off, pullin at tufts of grass, mullin over what Jack said to me.
    After a while Emmi comes over. Mind if I sit down? she says.
    I shrug. Suit yerself, I says.
    She sits herself down beside me. We don’t say nuthin fer a bit, then, I’m sorry fer sassin you, she says. An I shouldn’t of stuck out my tongue. Lugh’d be mad if he knew.
    Don’t s’pose he’d be too impressed with me neether, I says. Losin my rag with you like that.
    Guess we’d both be in trouble. Epona’s nice. An Ash. Don’t you think?
    I grunt.
    Well I like ’em, she says.
    I don’t say nuthin.
    They’d like to be yer friends, you know, she says.
    Huh, I says.
    She kneels up an takes my hand. We’re gonna find Lugh. I know it. We’re all gonna help you. Me an Ash an Epona an Jack.
    You would of bin safe with Mercy, I says, pullin my hand away. You should of stayed there, like I told you to.
    I know, she says. But I’m stubborn. Like you.
    We look at each other. Then we smile.
    Yeah, I says. I guess you are at that. Listen, Em, I … I’m sorry. I know I ain’t bin very nice to you. I don’t mean nuthin by it, you know that, don’t you? It’s jest … I’m worried about Lugh. Worried that … that maybe we won’t—
    I know, she says. I worry about him too. Jest like I worry about you. I couldn’t hardly stand it back in Hopetown when you was fightin in the Cage. Every day I was so afeared that you’d die an leave me.
    I won’t leave you, I says. I promise. I sigh. I’m gonna try to be a better sister to you, Emmi.
    It’s okay, she says. You don’t hafta. I’m kinda used to you the way you are.
    She kisses me on the cheek, real quick. She goes back to the fire to join th’others. I sit there a minute or two, till the lump in my throat goes down. Then I walk over. The conversation stops. They all look at me. Essept Jack. He stays crouched by the fire an makes hisself busy pokin at it with a stick.
    I got somethin to say, I says. To all of you. I know I bin actin like I got a … a burr in my britches, bein ungrateful an cantankersome an … well … I’m sorry. An I wanna say … I wanna say thanks. Fer comin with me. Fer tryin to help me find Lugh. I’m grateful.
    They look at me. Like they’re waitin fer more.
    That’s it, I says.
    Ash shrugs. We’re doin this fer everybody, she says. Not jest you an yer brother. It’s bigger’n that.
    We’ll find Lugh, Saba, says Epona. We’ll help you git him back.
    She smiles an they go back to their cookin an chattin.
    I done what Jack said. What was right to do. Now I walk away from ’em quickly. But my heart feels lighter. More hopeful.
    A hand on my arm stops me. Jack. That was well done, he says.
    An, like every other time Jack’s touched me or come near me, heat washes over me, through me, around me.
    Don’t touch me, I says.
    He steps back, holdin up his hands. His mouth’s a tight line. Sorry, he says. My mistake. It won’t happen agin.
    As he goes back to join th’others, I pull the heartstone outta my vest an curl it in my fist. Hold it while it cools down.
    I look up at the sky. The first stars is out. An the moon. Every night it creeps along in the sky, closer an closer to where it’ll be at midsummer. There ain’t nuthin gonna stop it.
    We’re in a race, the moon an me. An it’s a race I cain’t afford to lose.
    Maybe it ain’t such a bad idea to have some help. I’ll put up with anythin if it means I git Lugh back safe. Anythin an anybody. Even Jack.

    We slide offa the horses an stand on the edge of the escarpment. We look over a dry river gorge to the mountain on th’other side.
    It towers above us, dark an jagged an dangerous. Behind it, more mountains stretch as far’s the eye can see.
    Is this th’only way to Freedom Fields? I says.
    No, says Jack, I brought you this way because I thought you’d enjoy