Blood Red Road

shirt away, slow an careful. Dried blood sticks to the cloth, pulls at the wound. I bite my lip so’s I don’t cry out. Jack’s still somewhere behind me. Don’t let him hear. Only one tear in the skin, but it looks deep enough. It’s throbbin somethin fierce.
    But the pain ain’t no worse’n what I used to feel after a rough fight in the Cage. I tell myself that, over an over. That’s the way to keep it unner control. I jest need to do what I did then. Cut my brain off from what my body’s feelin. Make myself believe it’s happenin to somebody else.
    Think of somethin else.
    Think of Lugh. Think how he looked the last time I seen him. Thrown over the back of a horse, wrists an ankles tied, like a beast.
    They killed my father. They stole my brother.
    It’s the anger that keeps me goin.
    I feel its heat in my belly. All through me.
    Heat.
    So hot.

    Soon’s I catch up with Emmi an th’others, I’ll bathe my shoulder an pack it with … with bark. That’s it, I’ll pack it with … what was it now?
    My feet’s so heavy. Like I got somethin tied to the end of my legs. Need to keep goin. Gotta git to … where am I goin agin? Oh yeah. To Lugh, that’s it. But I’m jest gonna hafta … sit. Jest fer a moment.
    I sink down.
    It’s night. It should be cool but I’m sweatin like billy-o. I go to wipe my forehead with my sleeve but my arm … cain’t lift it. Now I remember. My shoulder. Must be … infected.
    Gotta find Lugh.
    I’m jest so … tired. Must … lie … down …

    I’m five year old. It’s a sunny day. I’m on the shore at Silverlake. I’m by myself. A breeze lifts my hair. The lake water laps softly. I’m crouched down, pilin up flat stones, all white, one on top of th’other. I count as I go .
    One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!
    A shadow falls over me. I look up. It’s Pa. Like he used to be when I was a kid. Before Ma died. Thick black hair, smilin eyes, strong, handsome .
    Seven, Pa! Look at that!
    He hunkers down beside me. Takes my hand .
    They’re gonna need you, Saba, he says. Lugh an Emmi. There’ll be others too, many others, who will look to you, an you’ll hafta stand alone. Don’t give in to fear. Be strong, like I know you are. An never give up, d’you unnerstand, never. No matter what happens .
    I smile at him .
    I won’t, I says. I ain’t no quitter, Pa .
    That’s my girl, he says. Then he’s gone. Jest like that. Disappeared .
    Pa! I jump to my feet. Where are you, Pa? Come back!
    His voice echoes, drifts away, gittin softer an softer. That’s my girl, my girl, my girl .
    Pa! I look around, frantic to find him. But he’s gone. Silverlake is dry. The ground unner my feet an as far as I can see is parched an cracked .

    Darkness. Voices. Angry. Shoutin. I cain’t hear the words though .
    Then it all stops .
    A flash of white light. An Epona stands there. Alone. Darkness all around her .
    There’s only the sound of my heart. Beat, beat, beat .
    Epona looks over her shoulder, like she sees somethin behind her. She turns back agin. She sees me. She nods .
    An it all happens slowly. So slow, I can see the blink of her eyelids. I can see her lips move as she takes in a breath .
    Beat, beat, beat goes my heart .
    She starts to run towards me. She throws her arms wide open an lifts her face up. She leaps .
    A flash of white light .
    An the world smashes into a million pieces .

    Jack! I think she’s awake! Emmi’s voice.
    There’s a dull throb in my right shoulder. I hear the crackle of a fire. Somebody kneels beside me. Lays a hand on my forehead. It’s callused, cool. Nice on my warm skin.
    Slowly I open my eyes. I’m lookin up at rock. I frown.
    It’s a cave, says Jack.
    I turn my head to look at him. In the flicker of the firelight, his silver moon eyes glitter. His skin gleams. He’s beautiful.
    Welcome back, he says.
    I lift my hand an touch his cheek. It’s warm. Rough with stubble.
    Jack, I says.
    He goes still. He puts my hand back down on the blanket. I’ll git you a drink, he says an disappears.
    Emmi? I says.
    I’m here! She grabs my hand an kisses it, over an over.
    Hey Emmi, I says. C’mon now, I’m fine.
    I was afeared you’d die, she says. You had a fever. You was shoutin out, callin fer Pa.
    Was I? Em … I was havin the strangest dreams.
    Jack’s back. Here you go, he says. He puts his arm around my shoulders an raises me up. I wince.
    Sorry, he says. He holds a cup to my mouth an I drink. It’s