Born 01 - Born

He took me on a tour when I was six. I only saw a small part of the factory, but the sound of it is burned into my memory.
    I feel the metal bin start to vibrate. I know the truck is closer. My breaths are so short and rapid that I feel dizzy. I can't seem to pull a longer breath than the little ones I'm getting.
    I am vibrating along with the metal dumpster.
    A loud bang knocks against the front of the bin. It pushes me back. I feel my foot tear through the bag. I struggle to push it down so that it isn’t sticking out and looking like a nurse is in the bin. I forgot to take the scrubs off.
    The vibration is so intense that I feel myself sinking into the pit of churning body bags. "Emma."
    I hear Sarah crying out.
    "Stay calm." I try not to shout, but I have to over the noise of the machine lifting us into the air. I feel the bin tilt to the front. I hear screams. I know at least some of them are ripping from my throat.
    My bag is tossed and turned, until it slides forward and is tossed into an abyss. My stomach lurches forward as I freefall for a second.
    I land against metal and bodies. Some are stiff but most are soft. I am lost in them. I don’t know which way is up or down. I can't feel gravity. I can feel the vibration again, and the screech of the metal is everywhere.
    In between the sounds of the metal and gears, I hear sobs. I don’t think they are mine.
    There is a final loud bang and then a jerk forward. I open the hole of my bag a little more. I can't see the light. I am under the bodies.
    I feel like I'm struggling for air. I don’t think it's that there is no air. I think it's a panic attack. My palms are covered in sweat. I need Leo. I need to run my fingers in his fur. I imagine I am touching him. I slide a hand out of the bag and feel with my fingers. My arms are trapped. The sobs get stronger.
    "Emma."
    "I can't see you. Just a second. We'll be out of the gates in a minute. Just don’t freak out, okay?"
    Anna speaks softly, "Sarah, we need to stay still until we get far enough away from here. Just try breathing through your mouth. See, the hole is right there."
    I wish I had a hole leading somewhere.
    I remember what my dad told me about avalanches. I spit and feel it go up in the air and land back on my forehead. I wipe it off with the arm I've freed. I am on my back and have spit on my forehead.
    I start to wiggle and push through the bag above me. I tear the bag and push a body off of my other arm. My chest is tightening. The air is harder to get.
    I reach my hand up until it feels the air of the moving truck.
    I feel myself panicking. I want to claw myself free.
    I pull my arm in and look at the light in the gaps of the bags above me. I see other things in the tears I have created in the bags, but I try not to see anything but the light.
    I feel the truck lurch forward and come to a stop.
    I hear men talking. I hear them laughing.
    I am lying in a sea of death and they're laughing.
    The truck moves and I feel the bodies on top of me start to shift again. I count to ten and make myself wait an extra couple seconds.
    One Mississippi
    Two Mississi… Screw it
    "Get them off of me. Get them off."
    I feel the shifting and the moving.
    "It's okay, Emma. It's okay. I can see you." My face is cleared suddenly and I can see the smiling face of Anna. She is about three bodies above me.
    I reach my hands up and start clawing at the bags.
    Anna's face grimaces. "No, stop. You're opening the bags. Just give me a second to move them."
    I am vibrating. I can't wait. I want out. I want out now.
    The weight of them is crushing me. I never noticed but as they are lifted off, I feel relief.
    My upper body is freed first. I sit up and use the two dead women next to me to push my legs free. I kick and scramble until I am out of the clutches of the black bags. I see the light of the bright sunny day and the brown of the borderlands. I have never been so grateful to see old hay and dead crops. The green of the forest off to the left side wakes my heart up. We are driving very quickly. We need to get out of this truck before it takes us to the body dump. The drop at the one I saw was huge. It was a canyon. Bodies were splayed along the canyon walls and ground.
    Anna is breathing hard and sweating. Sarah is crying.
    I point to the back of the truck. "We need to jump."
    Sarah shakes her head. I grab her face and focus it on mine. "You need to trust me. You need this. Think about the swimming hole. We will be there