Born 01 - Born

women are put. After."
    She makes a face.
    I stand and walk to the door. "One at a time, we walk out into the garden. Don't make it obvious."
    I leave the room.
    A small piece of me stays in the white room. I want to go back as soon as my feet take their steps down the hall. Every movement feels pronounced and slow. My arms swing at my sides. I tuck the paper and card in my pocket and walk out into the bright living room and kitchen. Girls are everywhere, talking and laughing. They're eating, as always. They're wiping sweat from their brow after leaving the exercise room where we run and walk on a track that moves. They're leaning against the marble counters and taking huge drinks of water with lemon slices in them. I'm going to miss the cold lemon water.
    I don't look at them. I watch them, but I don’t look. I push the glass door open and sigh as my feet touch the shaved bark and dirt on the ground. It feels like the forest if you close your eyes and let the smell of the wood and trees fill you. I slip to the far side of the garden and smell a flower. Anyone who has noticed me leaving for the garden has turned back when they see me being, well, me. Smelling flowers and touching trees. I've spent a considerable amount of time in this garden. I stand by the door on the far side of the garden that leads to the other side of the dorms.
    Anna walks in next. She walks clumsily.
    She meets my eyes and goes and sits on a bench. I can see the drugs in her system. Everything she does is clumsy.
    Sarah comes last. She goes into the kitchen and takes some cheese from the board where the cook is cutting. Cook smiles and rubs her head. Everyone has adopted Sarah. She is the only child on our side.
    She grins and eats the white cheese.
    She moseys around for a moment and then slips down the hall again. She walks out into the garden and shows me her piece of cheese. I smile at her. I can see eyes on me.
    Louise walks into the living room. She sees me and smiles. I smile back. She doesn’t give me a signal or anything. She turns away from the window and walks into the kitchen. She pulls out something from a cupboard. I can't see what it is but the girls inside of the kitchen and living room go to her. They seem excited.
    I walk to the door and open it.
    "Now."
    I speed walk to the metal door at the end of the hall. Anna and Sarah are right behind me. It's just like we've talked about. No talking, just doing. Follow the leader.
    I slide the card and the door opens.
    We walk fast. I glance at the paper and see we need the fifth door on the right. I count them as we walk silently. At the fifth metal door I slide the card. The door opens. Once we are inside I look around.
    We are in a room with clothes. Scrubs are what Louise has called them. I pull the pale blue scrubs on over my white clothes. Anna and Sarah will never pass as nurses, but I might.
    From this small room with hallways leading from it, we take a left out the door opposite we came in. I feel sick walking through here. I don’t see anyone or hear anyone.
    The lights seem brighter somehow, like they are blinding me.
    I hear a man speaking, "I'm telling you, it's twins. There is no way she is that far along."
    "Impossible," A woman's voice speaks to him.
    The map says the next door on the right. I feel my hands shake as I slide the card. The man and lady are one room over. The door opens into another hallway. This place is a maze. No one would ever get out. Not without help.
    We walk straight and I open a door to the left, eight doors down. I hear feet on the floor and people shuffling about, but I see no one. I wonder if it's break time or something.
    My face is covered in sweat and my heart is pounding. My chest hurts.
    The door opens to a small room with black garbage bags and metal counters. There are beds with wheels and a huge square door. It is the biggest door I've ever seen. The room is freezing cold and smells like something I have never smelled before. It hurts my nose like the air is sharp.
    I glance at the map and feel more frightened than I have yet. I look at the words. They fuzz out, I look at them so hard.
    "Get into the bags."
    Sarah looks at me. I point to the black bags. "Hurry. Climb in a bag."
    I pull a soft plastic bag from the shelves and open it. The sides stick together so I shake it the way I've seen my Granny do. Air separates the sides. Sarah and Anna do the same thing.
    I roll the sides and step into the bag. Every sound we make is echoing