Carpathian 02 - Dark Desire

I don't faint at the sight of blood, and I can make my own decisions."
    "If I gave you the idea that I thought those things of you, then I must apologize," Gregori said gently, courteously. "It is not my impression of you at all. You have much courage, and you are a natural healer, but you have little knowledge of our way of life. It takes much to maintain proper health. You have the human aversion to taking blood, as Raven does."
    Her chin lifted. "I am well aware I have a problem in that area. In my own time I will deal with it. But there are other much more important things going on at the moment." Beside her Jacques stirred as if to protest, but he remained silent.
    "That is where you are wrong. Nothing is more important," Gregori replied, his voice velvet soft, a whisper of power. "Your health is essential to every member of our race. You are a woman. You are able to create life within you. You represent hope to every male who has no lifemate."
    "I have no intention of bringing a child into the world."
    There was complete silence. Gregori turned the full force of his silver gaze onto her face. His eyes slashed and burned through every barrier until she felt as if he could see every secret in her soul. He let out his breath slowly. "I understand why you would feel this way now, Shea. What was done to you was an abomination. I see the pain in you at this decision. If you can find it in yourself to wait for Jacques to heal completely before you give up such an important dream, I believe you will find that our race loves and cherishes our children, knowing them for the treasures they are. It is the same way we feel about our women."
    "Is that why Rand abandoned my mother? Is that why he allowed someone else to raise his own son?
    Or are only female children cherished by your race?"
    Gregori sighed. "All of our children, male and female, are loved and protected, Shea. I do not understand Rand, I never have. At the moment I believe he is very dangerous, and something has to be done about him. In the meadow he set up wires murderous not only to our kind but to humans and animals as well. I spent some time dismantling his traps. He cannot be allowed to continue this mad behavior. You know it, you just do not want to face it."

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    "Just like that? You can pass judgment on him and not even know for certain? How can you be sure it's him?" Shea found herself twisting her fingers together, trying to find a way out for her father. She remembered all too vividly his breath on her neck, but she pushed the memory away quickly, feeling disloyal again.
    "Because none of us felt his presence in the forest," Jacques answered her gently. A shadow in her mind, he could clearly see the conflict between her brain and her emotions. "Only you felt him, Shea. He was able to wake you despite my command to sleep. He deliberately lured you into the forest and tried to take your blood to strengthen his hold on you."
    "Maybe he's ill. Maybe he's confused. He could have forced me. Why didn't he force me, Jacques? He certainly could have," she pointed out. "He's quite a bit stronger than me, and I felt as if I was in a dreamlike state. Why didn't he simply force me, if he's really a vampire?"
    "Because a lifemate cannot be forced to choose. It must be a true choice. Otherwise a true bond is not formed. He knows that." Jacques reached out to her. "It is ingrained in him, imprinted before birth."
    Shea stepped away from him, rubbed at her throbbing temples. "Why is everything with you people so darned complicated, Jacques? Nothing like this ever happened to me while I was human."
    "You were half-human, Shea," Jacques reminded her gently, "and you know you were in danger even then. Your mother had the presence of mind to hide you from the fanatical society that was pursuing you."
    Shea shivered and rubbed her arms to warm herself. "I just wish we could go somewhere, Jacques, and sort all this out. I need to find a way to forgive you for using me to kill those men."
    Mikhail's form shimmered into solidity right before Shea's eyes, nearly stopping her heart. He smiled at her. "I must thank you for returning my love to me. Without her, my life would be worthless. You are a great asset to our people. It is unfortunate that you have been cast into our world without any preparation to make the transition easier. These are hard times for all of us." He touched her arm gently.