Carpathian 03 - Dark Gold

She could not, would not, become like him. She had to care for Joshua. Aidan sighed, soft and gentle, a quiet exhalation she felt right down to her toes, and she had the horrible feeling that he knew what she was thinking, that he really was somehow in her head with her, sharing her thoughts and emotions.
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    "You will be able to care for Joshua. Your things have been moved into the second-floor rooms.
    You and Joshua will maintain living quarters there. It will be essential for you to keep up the illusion of human life. Only during the afternoon, when you are at your most vulnerable, will you come down to this chamber and sleep. Joshua remembers nothing of the vampire. I could not allow him to be traumatized for life."
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    "You can't allow him to know the truth," Alexandria guessed shrewdly. "We have our own home. As soon as I'm able, I am going to take him away from here." Out of this city if need be, away from you, so far away that no harm can ever come to him .
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    There was a small silence that seemed to stretch into eternity. For some reason, she could feel her heart pounding in alarm. When Aidan moved, every muscle in her body froze. He was silent, but he terrified her, the way he moved so silently.

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    "There is a bond between us, Alexandria." His voice was pure, like the sound of a clear stream running over rocks. "It is unbreakable. I will always know where you are, as you will always be able to find me. If I was going to harm Joshua, I would have disposed of him long before now.
    You will stay here and learn what you must to survive. At least give yourself time to adjust to your new life."
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    "I want to see him, right now. I want to see Joshua."
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    For some inexplicable reason, she was finding it impossible to breathe again. Emotions whirled and danced, raged and exploded, until she thought she might go mad. Instead she sat quietly like a polite child awaiting his agreement. He stood staring down at her with his golden eyes, his face an expressionless mask.
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    Afterward Alexandria had no idea how it happened. One moment she was sitting quietly, the next she had launched herself out of the bed and flung herself at him, unable to contain the rage racing through her. Aidan's sensual features remained cool and calm even as he caught her small, flying figure. She was already desperately fighting to regain self-control, horrified at her behavior.
    She had never done such a thing before. Aidan restrained her easily, clasping her wrists behind her back so that she was held tightly against his hard frame.
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    And at once she was aware of the thin shirt covering her bare skin, her curves fitting against his body. She was aware of him as a man, of herself as a woman. That horrified her. Everything about the situation horrified her.
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    "Shh, piccola, cara mia , be calm," he soothed her, one hand pinning her wrists while the other tangled in the heavy fall of hair at her nape. "We will get through this together. Hold on to me.
    Use me. Use my strength." He released her wrists even as his hand tightened on her neck.
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    She thumped his chest once, twice, trying not to scream out her frustration. "I'm crazy. My mind is crazy. It won't stop." She rested her head against the heavy muscles of his chest, the only refuge, the only sanctuary left to her. Her brain was racing, a terrible, chaotic jumble of desperate thoughts. Aidan was solid, an anchor of strength, the calm in the eye of the storm.
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    "Breathe, Alexandria. With me, breathe." The words whispered softly over her skin, seeped in through her pores, penetrated to her heart and lungs.
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    He seemed to be doing it for her, his breathing regulating hers. Aidan held her almost tenderly, not asking anything of her, simply holding her until the terrible trembling ceased and she was able to stand on her own two legs. Almost reluctantly, he released her, putting space between them, his hand trailing down the length of her thick braid until his arm once more dropped to his side.
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    "I'm sorry." Alexandria pressed her fingertips to her temples. "I'm not normally a violent person.
    I don't know what got into me." It was so unlike her, this craziness. The vampire's blood must be still in her, and Aidan did not want to reveal the truth to her .
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    Aidan could read her fear, that the vampire was still in her, directing her actions. What nonsense.
    He shook his head.