Cereal Killer

complaining. Since when did you turn into a pansy on a stakeout?”
    “Since I stopped getting paid for it.”
    “So... bill that Leah Freed gal for your time here tonight. You’re working on the case, after all.”
    “That’s true, but she thought our killer was going to be somebody in the modeling business, not some civilian nutjob.”
    “Who cares who it is, as long as you catch him, right?”
    “I guess. I—” Savannah caught a glimpse of movement in the Buick’s side mirror. “Hey, somebody’s pulling into the driveway over there.”
    “An old El Camino?”
    “Yep. And he’s getting out and walking up behind us,” she said. “He fits your DMV description.”
    “Big, fat, and ugly?”
    “Watch your terminology there, would you? Big, horizontally enhanced, and attractiveness-challenged.”
    “Yeah, that’s better.”
    They watched as a large, slovenly fellow in baggy sweats sauntered up the sidewalk beside the auto shop. “I do believe that’s our boy,” she said.
    ‘Yeah, let’s get him before he gets into that van. God knows what he’s got in there in the way of weapons.”
    “Knives, guns... bubonic plague?”
    “Exactly.”
    They got out of the Buick, being cautious not to slam the doors and alert their mark. They caught up with him before he was even halfway to his van.
    “Ronald Tumblety?” Dirk asked in his most officious cop voice.
    He spun around, fists clenched at his sides. “Who wants to know?”
    “The police,” Dirk replied. “Detective Coulter. I need to ask you a couple of questions.”
    “I got nothing to say to you people.” Turning his back to them, Tumblety headed for his van at double time.
    Dirk caught him in three steps, grabbing a handful of his sweatshirt. Savannah pulled his right hand behind his back and held it there.
    “Now why be so rude?” she said. “We’re really nice people when you get to know us.”
    Dirk twisted his left hand behind his back and quickly cuffed him.
    “Well,” Savannah added as Dirk tightened the manacles, “I’m nice. This guy’s not all that nice—especially to perverts who flash their pee-pees at little girls. He’s been known to be downright cranky with them.”
    “I don’t flash children!” Tumblety exclaimed. And even by the dim light of a nearby street lamp, Savannah could see his pudgy face flush with indignation.
    She couldn’t help chuckling. It always amused and amazed her that even society’s more distasteful citizens had their standards... and were frequently indignant when defending them.
    “No, you’re a real stand-up guy,” Dirk said as he turned him around to face him. “We know all about you, Ronald. That’s why we’re here.”
    “Why?” he said. “Did some woman accuse me of calling her late at night? Did she say I was hanging around outside her house? ’Cause if she did, she’s lying! I went for counseling, and I don’t do that stuff anymore.”
    Dirk glanced over at Savannah, who simply twitched one eyebrow.
    “She’s lying, huh?” Dirk said. “I don’t think so. I think you’ve been calling her and following her, and we both know that’s not all you did.”
    Tumblety’s eyes widened, and he began to shiver. His teeth even started to chatter.
    Savannah tried not to get excited, but this was a better reaction than she had frequently seen in coldblooded killers, twenty seconds before they confessed.
    “I didn’t... didn’t do nothin’, I... I told you,” he said.
    Dirk shoved his face closer to the guy’s until they were practically nose to nose. “Well, guess what... we know exactly what you did to her. We’ve got witnesses who saw you there.”
    “No, you don’t! There wasn’t nobody th—er, that is, didn’t nobody see nothing, ’cause there wasn’t nothing to see. I didn’t do it.”
    “I think you’d better come along with me, Mr. Tumblety,” Dirk said, pulling him down the driveway toward the Buick. “We’ll go to the station house and you can tell me in great detail all about what you didn’t do that nobody saw you do.”
    “Huh?”
    Tumblety looked genuinely confused. And Savannah silently thanked the good God above that so many criminals were basically stupid.
    It made her life... and Dirk’s... so much simpler.
     
    Fifteen minutes later, Savannah and Dirk arrived at the police station with Ronald Tumblety sitting in the back seat of Dirk’s Buick amid the assorted Dirk junk.
    They pulled him out of the car and took him through the rear