Chasing Daisy

well. He started way down in eleventh place on the grid, but he overtook four people at the start, and was climbing up through the pack when suddenly he just seemed to slow right down. Seven people went past him before he pulled into the garages and climbed out of the car. Simon went bonkers.’
    I listen intently as she continues.
    ‘Anyway, that interview you saw was probably the only one he gave after the race because he just couldn’t keep it together. He hasn’t been into team HQ since and I think he’s properly screwed up. I don’t know what Simon’s going to do.’
    ‘What do you mean, you don’t know what Simon’s going to do?’
    ‘About Luis. He can’t keep him in the car when he’s so obviously affected by Will’s death.’
    ‘He can’t keep him in the car? What, he’s going to fire him?’
    ‘He might not have a choice.’
    ‘Of course he has a choice! He was leading the championship. Why would Simon get rid of him, just because he’s had a couple of dodgy races? His team-mate is dead!’ I can feel the sobs building up inside me again.
    ‘Hey, hey,’ Holly soothes. ‘I thought you’d be pleased to hear it.’
    ‘No. I’m not pleased,’ I tell her. In fact, I’m worried about Luis.
    He doesn’t deserve this. Do I really blame him for Will’s death? Do I? ‘When’s the next race?’ I ask.
    ‘In a couple of weeks. European Grand Prix.’
    ‘Well, wish him good luck from me.’
    ‘Really?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘Daisy . . .’ Holly’s voice is tentative. ‘Are you really going to stay in America?’
    ‘I don’t know,’ I reply.
    ‘Why don’t you come back? There’s still a job waiting for you. We all miss you.’
    I pause. ‘I miss you all, too.’
    ‘You could come back in time for the next race. Stay with me. You wouldn’t even need to find another flat.’
    For a moment I picture myself back at work, behind the serving table, dishing up greasy bacon, and then I see Will, asking for a quick word, and my throat closes up so quickly I have to gasp for air. I start to wail. Holly’s shock is immense.
    ‘Daisy, please stop crying!’
    ‘I can’t . . . I can’t . . . I can’t . . .’ I manage to say.
    ‘I know, I know,’ she hushes me. ‘It’s too soon.’
    ‘I can’t bear it!’ I promised her I wouldn’t break down again, but the floodgates have well and truly opened. ‘I can’t believe he’s dead!’ And that’s it, all Holly can hear for ages afterwards is the sound of me sobbing.
    Finally I calm down. ‘I have to go,’ I say morosely.
    ‘I’m so sorry, Daisy.’ Her voice sounds husky, like she’s been crying, too.
    ‘It’s okay,’ I whisper. And then I hang up.
    Moments later I hear a knock on my bedroom door. I don’t answer, so the door opens slowly and I look up to see my mother standing there.
    ‘Daisy? Are you okay?’
    ‘No, no, no, I’m not.’ I shake my head and stare down at the carpet in despair.
    ‘What’s wrong?’ she asks quietly.
    ‘Just let me be,’ I tell her and collapse face down on the bed. ‘Go!’ I shout crossly when she doesn’t make any attempt to move. Seconds later I hear the door shut behind her and I’m alone once more.

 
Chapter 21
     
    ‘He’s seriously considering it.’
    I’m on the phone to Holly. It’s a week after the European Grand Prix and she has just told me that Simon is thinking about replacing Luis with another driver. He qualified badly and then crashed the car into Naoki Takahashi after making a stupid mistake at the start.
    ‘I can’t believe he’d do that to Luis.’ I’m mortified.
    ‘He’s a businessman, Daisy, he has to do what’s right for the team,’ Holly says reasonably.
    ‘Yes, but is that right for the team? Do the team want Luis to be replaced?’
    ‘Well . . .’ She hesitates. ‘I guess not.’
    ‘Exactly! They all love Luis! They couldn’t bear to lose another driver!’ My eyes well up with tears. I quickly brush them away.
    After my last conversation with Holly, I had a brief look on the internet to see if anyone else from the industry had been speculating about Simon’s intentions for Luis. I came across a photo of all the drivers before the race in Germany. They were standing with their arms around each other’s shoulders, taking part in a minute’s silence for Will. Several drivers – Kit Bryson, Nils Broden, Antonio Aranda – looked tearful, but Luis was the only one with his head down, unable to face the camera.
    I don’t know how