Chasing Fire

your wife and stuck by you, whatever it took and for however long. But you changed that when you proved you wouldn’t do the same for me.”
    “Now you listen to me, Irene. You listen to me. Somebody took that rifle, took that gun, right out of my house. They did that to ruin me.”
    “I hope for the sake of your soul that’s true. But you and Dolly made our house a battlefield, and neither one of you cared enough about me to stop the war. She left me without a second thought, and when we took her back, because that’s what a parent does for a child, she lied and schemed just like always. And you fought and clawed at each other, just like always. With me in the middle, just like always.”
    God help her, Irene thought. She’d mourn her child for the rest of her life, but she wouldn’t mourn the war.
    “Now she’s gone, and my faith’s so broken I don’t even have the comfort of believing it was God’s will. I don’t have that. You left me alone in the dark when I most needed a strong hand to hold on to.
    “I don’t know what you’ve done or haven’t done, but I know that much. I know I can’t depend on you to give me that strong hand, so I have to start depending on me. It’s past time I did.”
    She got to her feet. “You should call your lawyer. He’s what you need now.”
    “I know you’re upset. I know you’re mad at me, and I guess you’ve got a right to be. But please, don’t leave me here alone, Irene. I’m begging you.”
    She tried, one last time, to reach down inside herself for love, or at least for pity. But found nothing.
    “I’ll come back when I can, and I’ll bring you what they say I’m allowed to bring. Now I’ve got to go to work. I can’t afford to take any more time off today. If I can find it in me to pray again, I’ll pray for you.”
     
     
    L.B. HAILED MATT as Matt came back from his run.
    “Have you got your PT in for the day?”
    “Yeah. I was going to grab a shower and some breakfast. Have you got something you want me to do?”
    “We could use some help restocking gear and equipment as it gets inspected. The crew got in from Wyoming while you were out.”
    “I saw the plane overhead. Man, L.B., did they have trouble, too?”
    “Another bad pumper.”
    “Well, shit.”
    “We’ve got mechanics going over every inch of the rest of them, the saws and so on. We’re unpacking all the chutes, and I’ve got master riggers going over them. Iron Man’s here, so he’s helping with that.”
    “Jesus Christ, L.B., you don’t think somebody messed with the chutes?”
    “Are you willing to risk it?”
    Matt pulled off his cap, scrubbed a hand over his hair. “I guess not. Who the hell would do something like this?”
    “We’re damn sure going to find out. Iron Man had news. Leo Brakeman turned himself in this morning.”
    “He’s back? In Missoula? The cops have him?”
    “That’s exactly right. It makes me wonder how long he’s been around these parts.”
    “And he could’ve done this. Screwed with us like this.” Matt looked away, stared off, shaking his head. “Threatening Ro, shooting at her, for God’s sake. Now messing with equipment. We never did anything to him or his. Never did a damn thing, and he can’t say the same.”
    “Right now, we take care of our own, so grab that shower and some chow, then report to the ready room.”
    “Okay. Listen, if you need me back on the jump list—”
    “We’ll leave you off for now.”
    “I appreciate it, a lot. My parents should be in late this afternoon. I’m going to let them know I might have to cut it short. I don’t want you having to shuffle somebody into my spot with the other crap on your plate, too. You call me in if you need me.”
    “Copy that.” He gave Matt a slap on the shoulder.
    He headed back into Operations. He had twenty-one men in Alaska, and didn’t expect to see them back until the next day, soonest. Another load barely touched down, and a fire in California where they might need some Zulies before it was said and done. Dry conditions predicted for the next two weeks.
    He’d be damned if he’d send the first load up without being sure, absolutely sure, every strap, every buckle, every fucking zipper and switch passed the most rigorous inspection.
    He thought of Jim, felt the familiar heartsickness. Accidents couldn’t be controlled, but he could and would control this human-generated bullshit.
     
     
    AT THE END of a very long day, Lieutenant Quinniock drove