Cheaper by the Dozen

don't forget to put it back when you're through with it, will you? Where was I? Oh, I remember. Joel had just said that if necessary he could help support the family by selling papers and shining shoes down at the depot."
    She resumed her reading.
    The psychologist had already given us the first third of the test. Now Anne and Ernestine tutored us on the second third, until we could run right down a page and fill in the answers without even reading the questions. The last third was an oral word-association test, and they coached us on that, too.
    "We're going to be the smartest people she ever gave a test to," Ern told us. "And the queerest, too. Make her think we're smart, but uncivilized because we haven't had enough individual attention. That's what she wants to think, anyway."
    "Act nervous and queer," Anne said. "While she's talking to you, fidget and scratch yourself. Be as nasty as you can. That won't require much effort from most of you; there's no need our tutoring you on that."
    The next time the psychologist came out from New York, she sat us at intervals around the walls of the parlor, with books on our laps to write on. She passed each of us a copy of the second third of the test.
    "When I say commence, work as quickly as you can," she told us. "You have half an hour, and I want you to get as far along in the tests as you can. If any of you should happen to finish before the time is up, bring your papers to me." She looked at her watch. "Ready? Now turn your test papers over and start. Remember, I'm watching you, so don't try to look at your neighbor's paper."
    We ran down the pages, filling in the blanks. The older children turned in their papers within ten minutes. Lillian, the youngest being examined, finally turned hers in within twenty.
    The psychologist looked at Lillian's paper, and her mouth dropped open.
    "How old are you, dearie?" she asked.
    "Six," said Lill. "I'll be seven in June."
    "There's something radically wrong here," the visitor said. "I haven't had a chance to grade all of your paper, but do youknow you have a higher I.Q. than Nicholas Murray Butler?"
    "I read a lot," Lill said.
    The psychologist glanced at the other tests and shook her head.
    "I don't know what to think," she sighed. "You've certainly shown remarkable improvement in the last two weeks. Maybe we'd better get on to the last third of the test. I'm going to go around the room and say a word to each of you. I want you to answer instantly the first word that comes into your mind. Now won't that be a nice little game?"
    Anne twitched. Ernestine scratched. Martha bit her nails. "We'll go by ages," the visitor continued. "Anne first." She pointed to Anne. "Knife," said the psychologist. "Stab, wound, bleed, slit-throat, murder, disembowel, scream, shriek," replied Anne, without taking a breath and so fast that the words flowed together.
    "Jesus," said the psychologist. "Let me get that down. You're just supposed to answer one word, but let me get it all down anyway." She panted in excitement as she scribbled in her pad.
    "All right, Ernestine. Your turn. Just one word. 'Black.' "
    "Jack," said Ernestine.
    The visitor looked at Martha. "Foot."
    "Kick," said Martha.
    "Hair."
    "Louse," said Frank.
    "Flower."
    "Stink," said Bill.
    The psychologist was becoming more and more excited. She looked at Lill.
    "Droppings," said Lill, upsetting the apple cart.
    "But I haven't even asked you your word yet," the visitor exclaimed. So that's it. Let me see what your word was going to be. I thought so. Your word was 'bird.' And they told you to say 'droppings,' didn't they?"
    Lill nodded sheepishly.
    "And they told you just how to fill out the rest of the test, didn't they? I suppose the answers were given to you by your Mother, so you would impress me with how smart you are."
    We started to snicker and then to roar. But the psychologist didn't think it was funny.
    "You're all nasty little cheats," she said. "Don't think for a minute you pulled the wool over my eyes. I saw through you from the start."
    She picked up her wraps and started for the front door. Dad had heard us laughing, and came out of his office to see what was going on. If there was any excitement, he wanted to -be on it.
    "Well," he beamed, "it sounds as if it's been a jolly test. Running along so soon? Tell me, frankly, what do you think of my family?"
    She looked at us and there was an evil glint in her eye. "I'm glad you asked me that," she whinnied. "Unquestionably,