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again, talking about important things was never Gable‟s strong side.
Then it dawned on Flynn and he understood why it was a touchy subject. “You mean you can‟t…?” He wiggled his finger vaguely in the direction of Gable‟s groin.
“I can‟t,” Gable answered calmly. “Doesn‟t work anymore.” 112
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“Gabe….” Flynn didn‟t know how to react. Gable looked sad, but not devastated, which was what Flynn knew he‟d be if the shoe was on the other foot. “I don‟t know what to say.” Gable shrugged, but Flynn could tell he was trying to hide how much it hurt him.
“It doesn‟t matter to me, Gable.”
“But it matters to me, Flynn,” Gable replied softly. “If I didn‟t need you so much, I‟d throw you out.”
“As I recall, you did and I refused to leave,” Flynn answered without thinking. It was true, of course, but as he heard himself say the words, he thought that reminding Gable of his breakdown wasn‟t his best idea. “Let me rephrase that.” He tried lifting Gable‟s head so he could look at him, but Gable refused. “It does matter to me. Because I hate to see you miserable and, yes, I can‟t imagine myself living without sex for the rest of my life, but there‟s more to this, Gabe.
You‟ve been really sick. Your body needs time to heal and sex isn‟t exactly a priority right now.”
Gable shrugged again and Flynn cringed at seeing him so defeated.
“Let‟s focus on you getting better first. Fight to get fit again and walking, and then we can go horseback riding again and you know that will make you feel better.”
Gable nodded and Flynn pulled him closer again.
“I‟ll be here for you. You should know that by now,” Flynn whispered, kissing Gable‟s temple.
“But what if it never….”
“We‟ll face that when it happens,” Flynn answered resolutely. He had to admit to himself that it did scare him and he wasn‟t entirely sure he could live with a man and not share the intimacy of a relationship as well. “If there‟s one thing life has taught me, it‟s that you can‟t see the future and you never know what will happen. Let‟s just live in the now, okay?”
Gable conceded, but Flynn could tell it wasn‟t wholeheartedly. At least Gable wasn‟t pushing him away again.
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“I just don‟t want to tie you down.”
Flynn gave Gable a compassionate look. “I‟m a grown man. I can leave when I want to.”
Flynn knew Gable would be exhausted, so they laid together for a while until Gable fell asleep. It took some careful maneuvering but Flynn managed to move from the bed without waking Gable up, and after putting the throw over him to keep him warm, Flynn got everything ready for dinner before returning to the stables.
He mucked out T.C.‟s stall, like he‟d done for Brenner‟s that morning, and took the paint horse out for a ride around the perimeter to check the fences, something he knew he‟d neglected to do in the last weeks. About three quarters of the way around, Flynn checked a part of the fence that looked like it had been recently mended and tried to recall whether this was something Gable had done before he got sick.
He shrugged it away. The only thing he remembered was that he hadn‟t done it, but it looked pretty solid, so that was all that mattered. Near the end of his ride, he steered T.C. toward the shed where the horses sheltered themselves during storms, and there, too, he saw that a hole in the side was battened shut with a mismatched plank and some nails. It wasn‟t much to look at, but it clearly made the wall more solid and less penetrable by the wind, so it served its purpose. The last thing he spotted was a shiny new spring lock on a gate between Gable‟s ranch and Hunter‟s.
On the way back, Flynn considered exchanging his horse for the truck to make a quick grocery run and ask Calley whether she‟d sent Bill out to help, but he decided that she‟d probably deny it, even if it were true, so he went straight home again.
To Flynn‟s surprise, Gable was awake but still lying on the guest bed, staring into nothingness. He took his boots off and dropped them in the mudroom before sitting down next to Gable.
“Did you get a good rest?”
Gable nodded absentmindedly.
“I‟ll go get dinner started.” Flynn patted Gable‟s thigh and got up from the bed.
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“I‟m not hungry.”
Flynn turned around and sat back down. “You didn‟t eat lunch
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