Coda 02 -A to Z

tables and chairs and start lookin’ into all the licensing bullshit.”
    “I don’t think I’ll be able to do that anytime soon.” “Thought you liked the idea.”
    “I do. I love it. I’m just not sure I can afford to do it right away. We need one of those projection home theater systems, with full surround sound. I don’t have that kind of money.”
    “I do.”
I looked at him in surprise. “You do? How?”
    “Been workin’ two jobs for a long time. I pay rent. I buy food. Other than that, my only expense is rentin’ movies.” He walked over to me, leaned into me, and looked up at me through his bangs. “Few months ago I met this cute preppy guy. He’s been givin’ me a discount on the movies.”
    I laughed. “He must be trying to get in your pants.” He smiled. “It’s possible.”
“If you’re going to invest, you should be a partner.” His smile disappeared. “No, man. I don’t want that.” “Why not?”
“Just don’t.”
    I could see that look in his eyes—the same one he had when we talked about living together. It was just one more thing he wasn’t ready for. “I’ll pay you back.”
    His arms went around my waist. “I been meanin’ to tell you, Zach—I want a raise. And that’s not a sexual innuendo.”
    “I’ll see what I can do.”
His lips brushed mine, and he smiled. “I lied.”
“You don’t want a raise?”
“It was a sexual innuendo.”
    “I think I love you.” The words were out of my mouth before I knew I was going to say them. I wanted to take them back immediately. If talking about living together sent him into a fullblown panic attack, there was no telling what the L-word was going to do to him.
    He froze, for just a second, and I braced for the worst, but he just smiled and said simply, “I know.”
    O NE day in mid-October, Matt and Jared stopped by the store just as we were about to close to see if we wanted to go out for dinner. Angelo was making a Halloween display, with horror movies sorted into four categories: bloody, spooky, campy, and downright disturbing.
    “You think The Exorcist goes in spooky or disturbing?” he asked us.

    “Disturbing!” Jared said right as Matt said, “Campy.” “Really?” Jared and Angelo said in unison, looking at Matt in surprise.
    Matt shrugged. “Never did see what was so scary about it.” Angelo turned to me. “What do you think, Zach?” “Never se—”
    “—seen it,” he finished for me, smiling. “Should have known. We’ll go with spooky.”
    “Scariest. Movie. Ever,” Jared said with finality.
“No way,” Matt laughed.
“Zach, what’s the scariest movie you seen?” Ang asked me.
    I could count the number of horror movies I could actually remember watching on one hand. “ The Shining ?”
    He smiled at me. “Okay. That’s respectable.”
“What do you think?” I asked him.
“Not sure. Maybe The Changeling .”
“That one with Angelina Jolie?” Matt asked skeptically.
    “No, man. With George C. Scott. You seen it?” We all shook our heads. “Nobody’s seen that movie.” He turned to Matt. “What’s your pick?”
    “ Jesus Camp .”

    Angelo actually looked confused. “Never heard of it. Is it a slasher flick?”
    “It’s a documentary.” We all laughed, but he didn’t seem to be joking. “I’m telling you, if that movie doesn’t scare you, nothing will.”
    Jared was looking at him in astonishment. “A documentary about religion?”

    “It’s not about religion. It’s about fanaticism. Not the same thing.”

    Angelo was looking thoughtful, and I knew we’d have a copy of it by the end of the month.
    We had dinner with Matt and Jared, and then they came to my house to watch a movie with us. Angelo usually liked watching movies, but I could tell his mind was elsewhere. He was sitting next to me on the couch, and his hand was slowly moving farther up my thigh. As soon as they were out the door, he grabbed my hand and led me into the bedroom.
    I watched him undress. I loved to just look at him. There was something wildly exotic about him, something rare and precious and beautiful but also shamelessly audacious. Something that was divine and yet completely irreverent. He practically radiated sensuality. Now that I knew it was there, I wondered how I had ever not seen it. I really had been blind.
    “What’s your deal?” he asked suddenly, in that impudent tone he always used.

    “You’re amazing.”

    He gave me his lopsided smile. “If I’m so