Coda 02 -A to Z

skin against my lips. I took my time, slowly letting my fingers and my lips explore. Then I moved to the other arm.
    He head was back, his eyes closed. He was quiet of course, only his quickened breathing to give away his arousal. But I knew him so well by now. I knew what he liked.
    I pushed up his shirt, just barely brushed my lips against his stomach.
    “How do you it, Zach?” he asked breathlessly.
“Do what?” I asked as I started to unbutton his pants. “Make me like this, without even really touchin’ me?” I smiled and kissed his stomach. “Like what?”
    “So fuckin’ turned on, I’m gonna lose it the minute you touch me for real.”

    “I don’t know,” I said as I moved my lips lower, “but I like it.”
    He laughed a little, but then I pulled his jeans down, and his laughter died out and turned into something that was almost a moan. I pulled his boxers down, too, so his erection was free, but I still didn’t touch it. I teased him as long as I could, kissing him everywhere else, sometimes barely brushing his groin with my hand, until he hissed at me, “Zach!”
    I ran my tongue up his shaft and felt him shiver. My lips barely brushed his head. Before I could do anything else he grabbed my hair with both hands and pushed down. His hips thrust up, and that was all it took. His orgasm hit him so fast—much faster than usual—and I let him hold me there, as far down his shaft as I could go, until it was over. When he finally let go of me, I kissed his stomach and said jokingly, “I thought you were kidding when you said you’d explode the minute I touched you for real.”
    He looked down at me in surprise, and for a split second, I thought I had offended him. And then, without any warning at all, he burst out laughing. It took me completely off guard. It was something I had never really heard from him—the kind of laughter that you can’t control, no matter what. The kind that comes from way down deep and somehow changes everything. He put his head in his hands and laughed hysterically, without explanation. It went on so long that I started to worry. It seemed like he was only laughing because it was the only thing he would allow himself to do. When he finally stopped, there were tears in his eyes. He lay back on the couch trying to catch his breath.
    “Everything okay?” I asked lightly.
He sighed and said, “Man, I needed that.”
“The blow job or the laughter?”
    “Both.” I laid my head on his stomach, and his fingers started to comb through my hair. “Neither.”
    “What does that mean?”
“I just needed you, Zach.”
He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and I
    could only tighten my arms around him and kiss his soft stomach. “There’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for you, angel.” “I know.”
    For a while we lay like that: me with my head on his stomach and him staring wordlessly at the ceiling. I was actually halfway asleep when he suddenly sat up, which caused me to sit up too. He pushed me backward on the couch, so our positions were reversed. Now I was on my back, and he was halfway on top of me. He started to unbutton my pants.
    “You don’t have to do that, Ang.”
    He looked up at me with his lopsided grin. “I know, Zach.” He pushed my shirt up out of the way and leaned down to kiss my stomach. “That’s why I want to.”
    Call me selfish, but I wasn’t going to argue too much.
    I wanted to touch him while he did it. I always wanted to touch him. I loved the feel of his skin against my hands. He let me pull off his shirt, and then he started, and I couldn’t think about anything else. There was only the exquisite warmth of his mouth on me and his soft skin under my fingertips as I touched his shoulders and the back of his neck. There was my hand on his head and his thick black hair, coarse and spiky against my palm. And—
    Everything stopped. We both realized at the same moment what I had done.
    I pulled my hand away, already apologizing. “Angelo, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean—” But when I looked down at him, I was stopped short by what I saw. He was looking up at me with his eyes wide. I expected anger, but it wasn’t there at all. There was only surprise.
    “It’s okay,” he said, and his voice was filled with astonishment.
    “I didn’t mean to,” I said again. “I got carried away.” “It’s okay,” he said, firmer this time, and he started to smile. “It won’t happen again,