Coda 05 -Paris a to Z

weekend,” Jon went on. “Hell pay for anything you guys decide to do—the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, vineyard tours.” He looked at me when he said that one, and it was a painful reminder of the honeymoon trip wed planned but never taken.
    “Im not sure Im comfortable with that arrangement,” Matt said.
    “I know,” Jon said. “I told him you might not be, but….” He let the words trail away.
“Cant you talk him out of it?” Matt asked.
Jon and Jared burst into laughter together, and Jon shook his head. “Matt, if you can figure out how to ever make him change his mind about anything , you be sure to let me know.”
“Yeah,” Jared said. “Good luck with that.”
“Honestly,” Jon said, “he has plenty of money. And Im not saying that to be pompous. Im just telling you, this trip is a drop in the bucket for him. He doesnt even know how much it costs, and hed never care anyway. He likes to spend his money on people he loves.”
“He barely knows most of us,” I said.
Jon shrugged. “I guess you qualify anyway. I know its weird for those of us with normal bank accounts, but honestly, my advice is, just enjoy yourselves while youre here and let him foot the bill.”
I knew it might have made me a selfish asshole, but I didnt feel compelled to argue.
Cole finally led us into a restaurant where we were seated at a round table. Cole ordered for the entire table—in French—after which he and Jon had a seemingly good-natured debate over wine, most of which I couldnt hear. In the end, it didnt appear so much that Jon won as that Cole simply decided it wasnt worth arguing about, and Jon ordered a bottle of Pinot Grigio.
“Theres still one more person coming?” Jared asked Cole.
“Yes, but not tonight. George gets in tomorrow morning. Hes still so upset over missing the Super Bowl—”
“No kidding?” Matt said dryly, but Cole didnt seem to notice.
“Zach honey, you know George, right? Im sure hell be thrilled to have somebody here he actually knows!”
“Well,” I said, glancing at Jon, “I wasnt exactly his favorite

    person.” Because Jon had been dating me when he came out to his family, I always felt Id been cast into the role of the evil tempter. Carol had been friendly, but seemed to be on the verge of tears every time she looked at me, and George had tolerated my presence with cold civility.
“Just talk football to him and youll be his new best friend,” Cole said, and I noticed Matt perk up at that.
“Hes different,” Jon said quietly, so that only I could hear. “Since my mom died.”
Id been wondering why nobody had mentioned Carol. “I didnt know,” I said.
“She had cancer. They didnt catch it until it was too late.”
“When?”
“A year after you and I….” He let his words trail away.
“Im sorry,” I said, and I wondered if I meant for his mom, or for not being there for him when he needed me.
He shrugged, recovering quickly. “Youll be surprised, Zach. Hes a lot more accepting now than he was back then.”
Back then. Back when Jon and I had stood together, hand in hand, and told his parents that we were in love. The weight in my chest seemed to grow at the thought. I looked to my other side, where Angelo sat. He was watching Jon and I, his eyes guarded. Was there an accusation in them, or was I only projecting my guilt? I wasnt sure.
I took a drink of my wine, trying not to think about the pain Id caused the man I used to love, and the pain I might be causing the man I loved now. I wondered how much Id need to drink to make myself not care.
“Youre staying at the hotel too?” Jared asked Cole. “Dont you own a condo here?”
“I do, sweets, but it just seemed easier if we were all in one place. And let me tell you, it was nearly impossible finding a suitable hotel—”
“Only because youre too picky,” Jon said. Cole looked over at him quickly, batting his eyes playfully at Jon, as if to say, “I am, but you love me anyway.” It was disgustingly cute, and it made Jon laugh. It lasted only

    a second before Cole turned back to Jared.
“I didnt want just any old motel,” he said. “I wanted it to feel French . It would have been such a disappointment for you to come all the way here just to stay at a Holiday Inn. And I wanted to be able to hold the ceremony there. We looked at some of the older hotels, but the rooms were so dreadfully small. I just cant stand being crammed into such a tiny space.” He shuddered dramatically. “Of course, we looked