Coda 05 -Paris a to Z

Jon.”
“I been thinkin bout goin back to school for a while. But I wasnt sure I could do it, and I was scared to try. So today, we were at the church. Cole and me. And I was standin in the jewel box. And it was like… an epiphany, I guess. Cause I knew in that moment I could do it, Zach. And I was so excited, and I wanted to tell you, but you werent there. So I told Cole.” He stopped short, looking worried. “You mad?”
“Why would I be?”
“Cause I told Cole before I told you.”
“Im not mad,” I assured him. Yes, he had told Cole first, but not because he trusted Cole more. It had only been because Cole had been there with him and I hadnt. “But Im still confused what it has to do with Jon.”
“Well, when we got back, Cole mustve talked to him. Jons his accountant, you know.” I didnt know that, but it made sense. “And Jon came to me. He said Cole told him he wanted to pay for me to go back to school. He told Jon to set up an account for me.”
“Holy shit!”
“I told him no.”
“ Holy shit! ”
“And Jon said he understood why I didnt want to take Coles money, even though he said Cole could afford to send me to college ten times over and not blink an eye. But he said he could set it up as a loan, and I could pay Cole back. He said hed even charge me interest if itd make me feel better.”
“Thats incredible!”
“Still not sure I want it, Zach,” he said. “Seems wrong to take it, even as a loan.” Turning the money down did seem like the honorable thing to do. I wasnt sure I could have been so honorable in his place. “Jon said there were other loans, too, and hed help me with the applications. He told me to think about it and call him when Im ready.”
“Thats great.”
“Not sure yet if I want to try to do it by myself, or if thats just stupid.”
“One step at a time,” I told him. “We can take care of the community college. That gives us a couple of years to decide about the rest.” I pulled him close again and kissed the top of his head. “Well work it out,” I said.
That was obviously what he needed to hear. His eyes were bright and clear, and he smiled up at me with obvious relief. “I love you,” he said.
I knew how he felt about me, but it was still a rare thing for him to be able to say the words. And this time he sounded more sure saying them than he ever had before. “You are my north,” I said, and he laughed.
“Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
He sure as hell didnt have to tell me twice.
    T HE next day we went to the Louvre. Angelo was unbelievably excited. He had a list of things he wanted to see. I figured Id be lucky to be able to keep up.
    The place was completely insane. It was far bigger than any museum had a right to be. The first thing we did was make sure everybody had everybody elses cell phone numbers because there was no way wed be able to stay together. Then we picked one of the cafés as a meeting point. And then we started.
    Matt, Jared, and George went one way. Cole was, of course, leading Angelo by the hand to see something (I didnt know what), and I found, to my complete dismay, that I was left with Jonathan.
    The two of us walked in an awkward silence, trailing behind Angelo and Cole. They moved quickly, never staying long at any one piece. They were both beautiful, although in very different ways, and they obviously enjoyed being together. Angelo looked back at me occasionally, and I saw flirtatious looks between Jon and Cole, but they didnt feel inclined to slow down for us, and neither Jon nor I seemed quite as excited about the art anyway.

    “Theyre a lot alike, arent they?” Jon said at last, breaking the silence between us.
Id been thinking the exact same thing. “They are.”
“And yet,” Jon said with confusion, “nothing alike at all.” And, of course, I knew what he meant. Angelo wasnt at all flamboyant or feminine, as Cole was. And I was pretty sure Cole had never in his life owned a pair of combat boots.
“Jared said Coles dad is dead, and he and his mom dont get along?”
“She barely even acknowledges him.”
“Because hes gay?”
He shook his head. “No. Because shes a selfish bitch. He invited her to the wedding, of course. If he was having a huge event, where she could be seen , shed probably come. But not for anything this low-key. She claimed she was busy. Too busy to see her only son get married.” He glanced over at me. “I havent even met her yet,” he said, “but Im not sure I can