Coda Books 04 - Strawberries for Dessert (MM)

want to make you come just like this.”
    “Oh God, love, please hurry,” he panted breathlessly.
    The urgency in his voice almost sent me over the top. I gave up on being slow or gentle. I wrapped my other arm tight around him. I bit down on his neck. I shoved my fingers in the rest of the way, found that spot inside of him, and pushed, grinding myself against him as I did.
    He cried out, loud enough that the neighbors probably heard him. Not that I cared. His body tightened around my fingers, and he cried out a second time, and I came hard, holding him tight against me as the waves washed over us both.
    We were shaking, breathing hard, and for once, I got to just hold him. He usually pulled away from me so quickly, and I was content to be able to be able to spend more time touching him and smelling him. I was so happy to have him there with me. Even still shaking from my orgasm, all I could think of was how glad I was that he had come back from New York. I started to kiss his neck, and he said shakily, almost laughing, “My wrists.”
    I laughed too. I had completely forgotten that he was still tied up, and I reached up to undo the knots. I only got to untie one of them. As soon as he was free, he pushed me away, and I tried not to be too disappointed. That was his way—to put his walls back up now that the sex was over. He sat up quickly on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, hiding his expression from me. I wrapped my arms around him and was surprised that he let me. He was trembling, still breathing hard, and I kissed the side of his head.
    “Everything okay?” I asked.
    “Yes,” he said shakily. He laughed just a little, although it was a nervous sort of laugh. “I’m a mess.”
    “I’ll get you a towel.” I went in the bathroom for one. I wiped myself off quickly and then handed it to him.
    “Thank you,” he said quietly, his voice still shaky. But he didn’t look up at me.
    I wanted so much to touch him more. I sat down next to him on the bed and took his other arm, the one that still had my tie knotted around it. I undid the knot. There was a red mark underneath it, and I lightly massaged his wrist and hand. “Was it too tight?” I asked him.
    “No,” he whispered.
    I leaned over to kiss his wrist, as if I could take away the pain, and heard his breath catch. It didn’t sound like arousal. I lifted my head to look at him, and he turned quickly away from me, pulling his hand free to cover his face.
    “What’s wrong?” I asked, suddenly alarmed. I had thought his quiet, shaky behavior was only a reaction to his orgasm, but now I wasn’t so sure. I was terrified that I had hurt him or pushed him further than he intended to go.
    “We shouldn’t be doing this,” he said, so soft I barely heard him.
    Nothing could have surprised me more than that. “What do you mean?
    He shook his head but still would not face me. “Don’t you see?” he asked, his voice torn. “Don’t you see how terribly dangerous this is?”
    “Do you mean me tying you up? I won’t do it again if—”
    “That’s not what I’m talking about.”
    I was baffled, and worried. I put my hand on his shoulder but he flinched away from me. “Then what—” and right then, at the absolute worst possible moment, my phone rang. “Shit!”
    “It’s okay,” he said quietly. “You’re here to work.”
    “Are you all right? Did I hurt you?” It rang again. “Cole, I’m so sorry. Whatever I did to upset you—” Another ring.
    He sat up straighter and wiped his eyes, but he still wouldn’t face me. “You didn’t,” he said, although it was obviously a lie. “Don’t worry, love, really.” Ring, ring . “Go do what you have to do. I’m fine.”
    His fingers found mine and squeezed for only a second, and then he stood up and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
    I answered my phone. I hoped it would be something quick and simple, but it wasn’t. I was on the phone for more than thirty minutes, and I worried the entire time. I heard the shower running, and I heard when he came out. Although I was still on the phone, I went in the bedroom. I took his arm and gently turned him toward me. I had to carry on my conversation with my client, but I felt like if I could just see Cole’s eyes, I would know if we were all right. They were a little bit sad, but he smiled up at me reassuringly. I put my arm around his waist and he allowed me to pull him