Cold Fire

breakfast table.
    “I thought you'd be cooking something,” she said, pulling out a chair and sitting opposite him.
    He was not amused. “What do you want?”
    “Let me start by telling you what I don't want,” she said. “I don't want to write about you, I've given up reporting, I've had it with journalism. Now, you believe that or not, but it's true. The good work you're doing can only be hampered if you're being hounded by media types, and lives will be lost that you might otherwise save. I see that now.”
    “Good.”
    “And I don't want to blackmail you. Anyway, judging by the unconscionably lavish style in which you live, I doubt you've got more than eighteen bucks left.”
    He did not smile. He just stared at her with those gas flame-blue eyes.
    She said, “I don't want to inhibit your work or compromise it in any way. I don't want to venerate you as the Second Coming, marry you, bear your children, or extract from you the meaning of life. Anyway, only Elvis Presley knows the meaning of life, and he's in a state of suspended animation in an alien vault in a cave on Mars.”
    His face remained as immobile as stone. He was tough.
    “What I want,” Holly said, “is to satisfy my curiosity, learn how you do what you do, and why you do it.” She hesitated. She took a deep breath. Here came the big one: “And I want to be part of it all.”
    “What do you mean?”
    She spoke fast, running sentences together, afraid he would interrupt her before she got it all out, and never give her another chance to explain herself. “I want to work with you, help you, contribute to your mission, or whatever you call it, however you think of it, I want to save people, at least help you save them.”
    “There's nothing you could do.”
    “There must be something,” she insisted.
    “You'd only be in the way.”
    “Listen, I'm intelligent—”
    “So what?”
    “—well-educated—”
    “So am I.”
    “—gutsy—”
    “But I don't need you.”
    “—competent, efficient—”
    “Sorry.”
    “Damn it!” she said, more frustrated than angry. “Let me be your secretary, even if you don't need one. Let me be your girl Friday, your good right hand—at least your friend.”
    He seemed unmoved by her plea. He stared at her for so long that she became uncomfortable, but she would not look away from him. She sensed that he used his singularly penetrating gaze as an instrument of control and intimidation, but she was not easily manipulated. She was determined not to let him shape this encounter before it had begun.
    At last he said, “So you want to be my Lois Lane.”
    For a moment she had no idea what he was talking about. Then she remembered: Metropolis, the Daily Planet, Jimmy Olsen, Perry White, Lois Lane, Clark Kent, Superman.
    Holly knew he was trying to irritate her. Making her angry was another way of manipulating her; if she became abrasive, he would have an excuse to turn her away. She was determined to remain calm and reasonably congenial in order to keep the door open between them.
    But she could not sit still and control her temper at the same time. She needed to work off some of the energy of anger that was overcharging her batteries. She pushed her chair back, got up, and paced as she responded to him: “No, that's exactly what I don't want to be. I don't want to be your chronicler, intrepid girl reporter. I'm sick of journalism.” Succinctly, she told him why. “I don't want to be your swooning admirer, either, or that well-meaning but bumbling gal who gets herself in trouble all the time and has to rely on you to save her from the evil clutches of Lex Luthor. Something amazing is happening here, and I want to be part of it. It's also dangerous, yeah, but I still want to be a part of it, because what you're doing is so … so meaningful. I want to contribute any way I can, do something more worthwhile with my life than I've done so far.”
    “Do-gooders are usually so full of themselves, so unconsciously arrogant, they do more damage than good,” he said.
    “I'm not a do-gooder. That's not how I see myself. I'm not at all interested in being praised for my generosity and self-sacrifice. I don't need to feel morally superior. Just useful.”
    “The world is full of do-gooders,” he said, refusing to relent. “If I needed an assistant, which I don't, why would I choose you over all the other do-gooders out there?”
    He was an impossible man. She wanted to smack him.
    Instead she kept