Cold Fire

brow, hands, and side.
    It was off-the-wall stuff, a weird brand of mysticism that might have been concocted by an heretical Catholic and peyote-inspired Indian medicine man in association with a no-nonsense, Clint Eastwood-style cop. Holly was fascinated. But she said, “I can't honestly tell you I see God's big hand in this.”
    “I do,” he said quietly, making it clear that his conviction was solid and in no need of her approval.
    Nevertheless she said, “Sometimes you've had to be pretty damned violent, like with those guys who kidnapped Susie and her mother in the desert.”
    “They got what they deserved,” he said flatly. “There's too much darkness in some people, corruption that could never be cleaned out in five lifetimes of rehabilitation. Evil is real, it walks the earth. Sometimes the devil works by persuasion. Sometimes he just sets loose these sociopaths who don't have a gene for empathy or one for compassion.”
    “I'm not saying you didn't have to be violent in some of these situations. Far as I can see, you had no choice. I just meant—it's hard to see God encouraging his messenger to pick up a shotgun.”
    He drank some beer. “You ever read the Bible?”
    “Sure.”
    “Says in there that God wiped out the evil people in Sodom and Gomorrah with volcanoes, earthquakes, rains of fire. Flooded the whole world once, didn't He? Made the Red Sea wash over the pharaoh's soldiers, drowned them all. I don't think He's going to be skittish about a little old shotgun.”
    “I guess I was thinking about the God of the New Testament. Maybe you heard about Him—understanding, compassionate, merciful.”
    He fixed her with those eyes again, which could be so appealing that they made her knees weak or so cold they made her shiver. A moment ago they had been warm; now they were icy. If she'd had any doubt, she knew from his frigid response that he had not yet decided to welcome her into his life. “I've met up with some people who're such walking scum, it'd be an insult to animals to call them animals. If I thought God always dealt mercifully with their kind, I wouldn't want anything to do with God.”
     

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    Holly stood at the kitchen sink, cleaning mushrooms and slicing tomatoes, while Jim separated egg whites from yolks to make a pair of comparatively low-calorie omelettes.
    “All the time, people are dying conveniently, right in your own backyard. But often you go clear across the country to save them.”
    “Once to France,” he said, confirming her suspicion that he had ventured out of the country on his missions. “Once to Germany, twice to Japan, once to England.”
    “Why doesn't this higher power give you only local work?”
    “I don't know.”
    “Have you ever wondered what's so special about the people you save? I mean—why them and not others?”
    “Yeah. I've wondered about it. I see stories on the news every week about innocent people being murdered or dying in accidents right here in southern California, and I wonder why He didn't choose to save them instead of some boy in Boston. I just figure the boy in Boston—the devil was conspiring to take him before his time, and God used me to prevent that.”
    “So many of them are young.”
    “I've noticed that.”
    “But you don't know why?”
    “Not a clue.”
     

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    The kitchen was redolent of cooking eggs, onions, mushrooms, and green peppers. Jim made one big omelette in a single pan, planning to cut it in half when it was done.
    While Holly monitored the progress of the whole-wheat bread in the toaster, she said, “Why would God want you to save Susie and her mother out there in the desert—but not the girl's father?”
    “I don't know.”
    “The father wasn't a bad man, was he?”
    “No. Didn't seem to be.”
    “So why not save them all?”
    “If He wants me to know, He'll tell me.”
    Jim's certainty about being in God's good grace and under His guidance, and his easy acceptance that God wanted some people to die and not others, made Holly uneasy.
    On the other hand, how could he react to his extraordinary experience in any other way? No point in arguing with God.
    She recalled an old saying, a real chestnut that had become a cliche in the hands of the pop psych crowd: God grant me the courage to change those things I can't accept, to accept those things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Cliche or not, that was an eminently sane attitude.
    When the two pieces of bread popped