Color Me Pretty

physical ache inside my chest. I want to cook an omelet with him and drink juice from his recycled cups and sleep in his bed … Comforting, that's what Emmett is to me. But not just that. He's … electrifying. He makes me want to be a better person. He is an integral part of my rebirth and any future success I might have.
    “Hi, Claire,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his words. “How are you doing?”
    “Alright,” I tell him, glancing at the door suspiciously. If somebody is spying in on me, fuck them. I won't give them any reason to suspect me of doing anything wrong. “They took me to Crescent Springs. The drive was pretty boring.” I shrug and take a deep breath. “I have to go to two group counseling sessions today.”
    “Ah, that's rough,” he says, sounding genuinely sorry for me. “I never liked those things.” My turn to pause.
    “You've been to counseling?”
    “Yeah, a couple of times actually. They never helped. Pain isn't something that everyone wants to share. Some people do, yeah, but for others, it's something we have to come to terms with on our own.”
    “Or with a partner,” I blurt out of nowhere. Emmett chuckles and I swear, I can feel his fingers through the phone, brushing against my ear, teasing the edges of my scalp. “You'll come pick me up on my last day?” I ask. He said I could move in with him, but he never specifically said he'd come and get me. I guess I just sort of assumed.
    “Claire, I would go anywhere for you.” Tears sting my eyes again, but I'm not sure why. I'm still acting like an infant, newly thrust into the world, crying whenever I'm uncomfortable. I hope this stops soon.
    “Why?” I ask him, trying to understand. Maybe if I can find out why Emmett likes me, I can learn to like myself. Emmett doesn't answer right away, but that's okay. I know he's thinking about what he's going to say, taking the opportunity to be the world's only human being that doesn't shove their foot in their own mouth.
    “Because you're interesting. You're passionate. I want to know more.” Emmett pauses, and in my head, I see him wetting his lips, tugging his beanie down with long fingers. “No, I need to know more. You're one of a kind, Claire.”
    “One of a kind crazy,” I say, touching my forehead and glancing over at the clock that hangs above a small bistro table in the corner. It's almost time for my group session. Exciting.
    “Not crazy, focused. Determined. Don't sell yourself short, Claire. You made a few mistakes, but who doesn't? It happens to all of us.”
    “But … ” I think of my image in the mirror, how skinny she looked, like a ghoul risen from the grave. I could've been cast in a zombie movie and not had to borrow any makeup. “Emmett, I'm … too skinny.” The words ring false, echoing around in my shaky voice, a lie that isn't really a lie at all. My heart starts to pump.
    “But I love you anyway,” Emmett tells me, and then the phone clicks off. I pull it away from my ear suddenly and stare at the receiver. No. No. No. I hang up and try again – no dial tone. Shit. I can't just end things there. Love? Did Emmett seriously just say love ? How could he? Why would he? I mean, he told me before that he thought he might, but this is different … This is … real.
    I get up and race into the hallway, grab the first person I see with a name tag.
    “My phone's not working,” I say, and I must look terrifying because the employee's eyes get real big and she backs up a step, removing my fingers from her arm. I take a breath and try to sound like I actually have an intact mind. “My boyfriend just told me he loves me. I have to talk to him.”
    “But you only get fifteen minutes a day,” she responds, like I should've known better. She starts to walk away, carrying an armful of white towels, and I don't stop her. Bitch.
    I seriously consider breaking into someone else's room and stealing their phone time, but I'm afraid that if I get caught, I'll be stuck here longer. In which case I really will need the psych help and the supervision because I'll lose it. I stand on my tiptoes and stare down the hallway, towards the elevators. There's a rec room; I saw it on the map the woman gave me earlier. I could go down there, see if they have anything interesting to do, but then I start getting flashes of Girl, Interrupted, and I change my mind.
    Back in my room, I lay on the bed and I think of Emmett.
    I don't know if he did it on purpose, but now