Confessions of a Reluctant Recessionista

documenting projects in sub-Saharan Africa. It’s going to be for a major report that’s published next year.’
    ‘Six months?’ I asked, incredulous.
    ‘At least six months. Maybe longer if they decide they want me to cover the Middle East as well. It’s a fantastic opportunity for me, Cass.’
    ‘Yeah, you said that.’
    ‘You’re pissed off.’
    ‘No! Of course not. I’m disappointed. I don’t want you to go away for six months. I don’t want you to go away for six days. I particularly don’t want you to be travelling around dangerous countries getting shot at and contracting nasty tropical diseases. I can’t believe Matt’s done this to me. No wonder Jude was weird this morning. She knows, doesn’t she?’
    ‘Yeah. He told her. I didn’t. I wanted to talk to you first.’
    There was another long silence.
    ‘Well, six months isn’t for ever, is it? God, Matt and Jude are still together despite seeing each other about twice a year for the past five years,’ I pointed out, doing my level best to sound chipper.
    ‘Yeah, that’s true,’ Jake said. But I could tell what he was thinking. I was thinking it too: Matt and Jude had been together for two years before they were separated. Jake and I had been together a few months. It wasn’t the same.
    ‘Although … I was thinking …’ He started to say something but stopped.
    ‘What? What were you thinking?’
    ‘Before you told me about the promotion … I was thinking … You could come with me.’
    ‘To Africa? What would I do?’
    ‘I don’t know. Just take some time off. Travel with me. Have adventures. We could live on next to nothing – we can live on the salary that Unicef are paying me, plus I’ll have opportunities to freelance for newspapers, photography agencies, things like that. We could buy a Land Rover, a proper old one, not a Chelsea tractor, drive through jungles, forge rivers …’
    ‘… Get eaten by lions.’
    ‘Oh, come on,’ he said, slipping his fingers through mine. ‘Lions very rarely eat people.’
    ‘Jake … I don’t know. My idea of being adventurousis mixing high street with couture. I’m not sure I’m cut out for … jungles and things. Christ, think of all the insects. I’m horribly arachnophobic, you know.’
    ‘We’ll stock up on bug repellent.’
    I woke up the next morning at six, my head pounding. Too much champagne. I slipped out of bed and into the shower without waking Jake, dressed quickly and quietly and wrote him a note.
    Not feeling too good. Hangover I think. Will call you later xxx
    I crept out of the flat into the cool London air and walked up the hill to the tube. I wasn’t actually feeling that bad, but for some reason I just couldn’t lie there next to him in silence with everything that was going on in my head.
    Back at home, I made a cup of coffee for myself and a camomile tea for Jude and knocked softly on her door. I was pretty sure Matt wasn’t around, but I didn’t want a repeat of the eyeful I’d got last time I walked in on Jude and her boyfriend unannounced. After a moment or two, I heard a muffled response.
    ‘What is it?’
    ‘It’s me, Jude. Can I come in?’
    ‘Mmmm.’
    I put the cup of tea on the floor and perched on the edge of her bed.
    ‘I need to talk to you,’ I said, prodding her softly in the back. She pulled the duvet covers over her head.
    ‘I’m listening,’ she mumbled.
    ‘You knew, didn’t you? You knew he was planning on leaving.’
    She sat up abruptly, peering at me through hooded eyes.
    ‘I’m so sorry, Cassie,’ she said sleepily. ‘This is all my fault.’
    ‘What do you mean?’
    ‘Well, Matt was talking about how he needed to recruit someone for this job, and like an idiot I said, “Oh, that would be perfect for Jake,” and before you know it, Matt’s offered Jake the job and Jake’s said yes and then you were talking about how great everything was and how excited you were about your new job …’ She paused for breath, let out a huge sigh. ‘I’m sorry, Cass. I didn’t mean to mess everything up.’ She lay back and pulled the duvet back over her head.
    ‘You didn’t mess anything up, Jude.’ I sipped my coffee thoughtfully. ‘Whether Matt had offered him this job or not … it was only going to be a matter of time.’
    ‘Really?’ She was sitting up again. I held out the cup of tea, which she accepted gratefully.
    ‘Really. This is what he wants. It’s just …’ Tears sprang to my eyes. ‘It’s