Consequences

that he must have by one o’clock. If you go immediately you will be back in time.” As Claire spoke, Eric grabbed his coat and hat. He unlocked a cabinet on the wall that contained keys to all the cars, took out the keys to the BMW 7 Series, and shut the cabinet.
    Hurriedly Eric looked at his watch. “Ma’am, tell Mr. Rawlings I will be back before twelve thirty.” He got into the car.
    “I will, drive safely.” Claire figured it could wait until she saw him at noon. As Eric pulled out of the garage Claire noticed the key cabinet. It did not shut properly, revealing the keys to multiple cars. Suddenly nervous, Claire contemplated the keys. She should shut the cabinet. Then she could go out to the backyard for air . Or she could take a set of keys and drive to as much air as she wanted. She wasn’t thinking air for a lifetime, only enough air to breathe.
    The decision took only seconds yet it seemed like an eternity. She reached in and grabbed the first set she touched and hit the clicker. The lights on the Mercedes Benz flashed. In the midst of unpredictability she did her best to be stable and obedient. This sudden impulsiveness filled her with excitement and fear. Before she could talk herself out of it, she sat in the car, smelled the new car aroma, felt the leather steering wheel, and turned the key.
    Her motivation was not to leave Tony forever. It was just that she felt smothered. The constant monitoring, censoring, and controlling added to her sense of psychological instability. And the different Tonys added another dimension to her suffocation. A brief reprieve or a momentary freedom would help her sanity. Besides, she told him a year ago she liked to drive. That is all she wanted to do, drive.

 
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
—Thomas Jefferson
     Chapter 47
    The dashboard in front of her looked more like something from a helicopter, dials and lights coming to life. She tried to remain calm. Driving hadn’t changed in twenty-two months. She just needed to put the car in gear and push the accelerator. Trembling at the prospect of the simplistic task, she almost ran into the garage door. However, she remembered to push the button, wait for the door to lift, and concentrate on breathing—slowly inhaling and exhaling. The door opened, and cautiously, she proceeded down the driveway. Claire prayed that if anyone saw the car, they would assume it was Eric. At the gates, she again pushed a button, the one she’d seen Eric push many times. At first, they seemed to hesitate, but then the gates swung wide.
    She drove toward I-80 and inhaled. It was the sweetest air she’d smelled in almost two years. The clock on the dashboard read 11:16. In forty-four minutes, Tony would expect her in his office. She reasoned that perhaps the web conference would go long, and he wouldn’t notice her absence. Or maybe the phone calls would start, and he would be preoccupied. She knew the truth: Tony could do ten things at once. Come twelve and one second he’d be irritated, by twelve fifteen he’d be fuming. Feeling her heart rate intensify, she wondered what would happen when they reunited. What kind of punishment would he decide is appropriate for this behavior? Feeling her wet palms slide on the leather steering wheel, she chose to not linger on the possibilities. The Mercedes was now heading east on I-80. Her mind searched for possible destinations. Courtney—no, she is out of town. Emily—no, that is the first place Tony would check.
    Utilizing her therapy skills she convinced herself this was a deserved break. She also instructed herself to relish the overpowering sensation of freedom, a feeling she hadn’t known in twenty-two months. Slowly, she felt her senses awaken: the countryside looked brighter, the leather seats emitted a stronger aroma, the wheels on the pavement created a soft hum, and the vibration responded to her movement of the wheel. It all invigorated her.
    The brilliant dash indicated a full tank of gas. Silently she thanked Eric, momentarily worrying he would suffer because of her actions. She concentrated on the majestic world outside the windows, watching the traffic that consisted mostly of semitrucks. At first, this made Claire uncomfortable, but the Mercedes could weave and pass easily. Before moving to Tony’s she drove a Honda Accord. It was a good car, but the Mercedes felt like driving a cloud. Then the clock caught her eye,