Consequences

attempted murder?
    Another officer directed Claire to a cell. It was small, clean, and had a door that locked. She couldn’t sleep. She worried about Tony. There was no one at home that morning except them and the regular staff. Everyone had been with Tony for years and he implicitly trusted them. None of them would hurt him. She worried, had he regained consciousness? Was the poison in the coffee in the pot? Maybe it was in the cream? She wanted them to try to find the real criminal before he tried to hurt Tony again. Claire knew when he regained consciousness he would tell them she didn’t, couldn’t do this, and take her home.

 
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
—Eleanor Roosevelt
     Chapter 48
    Yesterday Claire drove in a luxurious Mercedes Benz all the way to St. Louis. The trip back to Iowa City wasn’t as comfortable. She rode in the back of a police wagon, wearing handcuffs and accompanied by a uniformed officer. The county courthouse steps were filled with reporters and photographers. She tried to shield her face. People were taking pictures from all directions and shouting questions: “Why did you try to kill your husband? Did you do it for the money? Did you think you would get away with it?” The police rushed her through the crowd and into the building.
    She heard their words with disbelief. How could they possibly be asking such questions? Claire worried about Emily . First John, now her, what must she be going through? Claire reassured herself once Tony woke up he would take care of everything.
    The officer took Claire to another room with a table. Marcus Evergreen entered. She recognized him immediately. He had attended her wedding and she accompanied Tony to one of his fund-raisers. Claire thought Tony donated to his campaign. “Mrs. Rawlings, I am Marcus Evergreen, chief prosecutor for Johnson County.”
    “Yes, Mr. Evergreen, I believe we have met.” Claire held out her hand. Mr. Evergreen didn’t accept it.
    “Yes, I believe we have. This, however, is a different situation. Mrs. Rawlings, I am currently holding a warrant for your arrest recently signed by Judge Reynolds. Just so you know, before we reach the district courtroom for your arraignment, you are being charged with the attempted murder of your husband, Anthony Rawlings .”
    “I want you to know I didn’t do such a thing. I wouldn’t do such a thing. How is Tony?” When Claire added the last question, Mr. Evergreen’s eyes dropped to the table. Claire’s heart sank. Oh my god, he’s dead! No, then he would have said “murder,” not “attempted.”
    “He is awake and conscious. He has given a statement to the police but will not be here today.”
    Claire was relieved to hear he was conscious, but she needed him to be here. He would help her and take her home. She wanted to explain things to him. He would be upset about the leaving and driving. There would be consequences, but he would know she would never try to kill him.
    “I am very happy he is better. Can you tell me what evidence there is against me?” Claire didn’t know how this worked, but she thought she needed to find out.
    “It will be discussed with you and your attorney after the arraignment.” He left the room.
    With her wrists once again in handcuffs, Claire was led into the courtroom. She watched the proceedings from a distance, seeing it all, yet not comprehending it as reality. Judge Reynolds spoke, asking questions of Mr. Evergreen. He explained that the state believed it had sufficient evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Mrs. Claire Rawlings did willfully and maliciously attempt to murder her husband Anthony Rawlings in an effort to profit financially. Furthermore, Mrs. Rawlings fled the scene of the crime and was found near St. Louis. Mrs. Rawlings had access to a passport and the financial ability to flee. Mr. Evergreen asked the judge to suspend bail.
    Judge Reynolds said, “Mrs. Rawlings, do you understand that you are being charged with a felony, attempted murder? And if convicted you could be sentenced to a federal penitentiary for a length not to exceed 162 months?”
    “Yes, Judge, I understand.” That wasn’t true—she didn’t understand.
    “Are you aware that you have the right to an attorney? If you cannot afford one, one can be appointed for you. You also have the right to a trial by a jury of your peers. You also are presumed innocent. It is the burden of the state to prove your