Cool & Lam 15 - Beware the Curves

you, dearie.” She walked over to a chair, picked up a girdle, looked at it a minute, threw it in a corner and said, “The way you’re built, it’s a goddam shame to strap yourself into one of those things. Cut out a few calories and get that fanny of yours back into circulation.
    “Come on, Donald.”
    We left Helen Manning sobbing.
    “Well?” Bertha Cool said.
    “Go to bed,” I told her. “I’m taking this thing down to Barney Quinn.”
    “Well, let’s hope it cheers him up,” Bertha said.
    “Having a client lie to you is a devastating experience, particularly when you prepare your entire defense on a false assumption,” I told her.
    “I know,” Bertha said. “How did I do in there? Was I hard enough?”
    “You were hard enough.”
    “It serves her right,” Bertha said, “for not feathering her nest. She should have done some gold digging on the sonofabitch and then she’d have had enough money so she wouldn’t need to work when the bust-up came.”
    “How did she know there was going to be a bust-up?” I asked.
    “Phooey!” Bertha said. “With a guy like this Karl Endicott there’s always a bust-up. Can you imagine that goddam blonde thinking she’s all done at thirty- five. Hell! She’s just starting! Five pounds off her fanny and she’s ready for the races. Thirty-five is just the right age. She’s begun to find out what it’s all about by that time. All right, Donald, you get on down to see Barney Quinn. Bertha’s going out and have herself a great, big, juicy steak. Thank God, I don’t have to worry about my fat fanny. I’m finished with men.”

CHAPTER 21 …

    Barney Quinn was pacing the floor of his office.
    “I’m beginning to think we can make it, Donald,” he said. “It’s a good jury, and I think we’ve aroused their sympathy.”
    “All right,” I told him. “Here’s what you do. Tomorrow Irvine finishes with the ballistics expert. On the strength of finding Ansel’s gun in the hedge, he tries again to bring in the testimony of Helen Manning.”
    Quinn laughed. “ That won’t get him any place. Judge Lawton has kicked her testimony out of court, and he’s going to—”
    “Hold everything!” I told him. “When Irvine moves to reinstate the evidence of Helen Manning on account of the corroboration furnished by finding the gun, you tell the Court that, under the circumstances, Irvine’s point appears to be well taken and you’re withdrawing your motion to strike Helen Manning’s testimony from the record.”
    “What?” Barney exclaimed incredulously. “Are you crazy?”
    “Then,” I said, “ Irvine walks into the trap. He goes ahead and puts on the rest of his case consisting of Nickerson and Cooper Hale. Hale will tell a convincing story. Then the district attorney will rest and throw the case in your lap.
    “At that time you call the attention of the Court to the fact that Helen Manning was withdrawn from the stand and you have never had a chance to cross-examine her.”
    Barney Quinn said, “That would be sheer suicide .“
    “And,” I went on, “you get Helen Manning back on the stand for cross-examination. Then you lower the boom on the district attorney.”
    “What do you mean, lower the boom?”
    I tossed the signed statement on his desk.
    Barney Quinn sat down to read the statement. He read the first few lines, then suddenly snapped bolt upright in his chair. His eyes raced through the rest of the statement down to the signature and the date. He looked at me with awed admiration, got up and shook hands. Then he went to a bookcase, swung back the false bindings of half a dozen books, disclosed a liquor closet, took out a bottle and two glasses.
    “Not for me,” I said, “I’m driving a car.”
    Barney Quinn held the neck of the bottle over the glass until the gurgling sounds changed from the low-pitched gloog-gloog to a high-pitched cluck-cluck-cluck.
    “Go ahead and drive back,” he said. “I’ve got a load off my mind and I’m going to get the first good night’s sleep I’ve had since I started this damn case. Boy oh boy! What a smear! Wait till I see Irvine ’s face when he walks into this one.”
    “Now wait a minute,” I cautioned him. “Don’t be too damn sure. That boy Irvine is smart, and this Manning girl is keenly aware of his soulful eyes, his wide shoulders and his slim hips.”
    Quinn picked up the signed statement. “Let me slap her in the face with that, and I don’t give a damn if she’s