Counting Shadows (Duplicity)

at the stone floor. “I couldn’t forget Ashe if I wanted to.”
    “So then you admit it. This Angel—”
    “I said my name is Lor,” Lor repeats, this time his tone a little closer to a growl.
    Farren pins him with a glare. “
This Angel
is just another part of your obsession with the past.”
    “I’m Jay’s brother,” Lor offers.
    Farren narrows his eyes. “
Whose
brother?”
    “Ashe,” I say. “His real name was Jay.”
    Farren laughs, although the sound is far from amused. “So that’s what this is all about. You can’t move on from Ashe, so now you’re going to obsess over his brother.”
    “I never—”
    “You
promised
,” Farren hissed. “You swore you’d Choose one of the men Father wanted you to. You said you were going to forget the past and move on.”
    I look to the ground. Lor shuffles his feet. Farren breathes like a horse after a hunt.
    Then my twin scoffs and shakes his head. “This is ridiculous. Why am I even arguing with you? You’re hopeless, Faye. Totally hopeless.”
    I grit my teeth. “I think you should leave, Farren.”
    He laughs again, the sound cutting into me. “Yeah, I bet you do. You’ve completely lost your mind, haven’t you? You want me to just leave you alone with an
Angel
.”
    I can’t meet his gaze. Instead, I stare at Lor’s tattoo.
It’s worth it,
I tell myself.
It’s worth anything to find Ashe’s killer.
    “I really think you need to leave,” I whisper.
    “You already told me that.” He stomps toward me, only stopping when he’s barely a foot in front of me. “Here,” he snaps, reaching into a pocket and pulling an envelope out. “This came for you. More intelligence about Ashe’s killer, I’m sure.” He presses the envelope into my hand and sneers at me. “You’re losing your touch, Faye. Don’t you know that legitimate messengers attract attention?”
    “What…?” I can’t think of anything to say. I didn’t order any intelligence, and certainly not from a noticeable messenger.
    “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. The rider who came galloping up to the castle today, riding like he had wolves on his tail? What did you do to scare him like that?”
    “I didn’t do anything.” I tap the envelope. “This isn’t—”
    “Don’t try to fool me.” He strides toward the door, his jaw and fists clenched.
    “Farren, wait!”
    He whirls around. “I thought you wanted me to leave?”
    “Just…” I bite my lip and trail off.
    He points a finger at me. “Let me get this straight, Faye. You’re my sister, and I love you. I
care
about you. But you obviously don’t want my care. And until that changes, I’m not going to waste my energy on you. So either drop this revenge ploy, or don’t expect to see me anymore.”
    I take a shuddering breath and stare at the spot on the ground where Ashe’s blood once covered the stone blocks. His lie echos in my mind: ‘
Everything is going to be okay…’
    If only he were still alive. He’d know how to handle this. He’d tell me what to do.
    I point to the door, not daring to meet Farren’s eyes. “Just go.”

Nineteen
    I light a fire when I get back to my room. The mirror next to my wardrobe reflects the flames, and I stare into the glass for a long time, silently hoping Blaize will reappear. As much as I don’t want to see him again, he’d be a welcome distraction from the envelope fisted in my hand.
    When Blaize doesn’t show, I walk over to my windows and pull the curtains over them, leaving the room sealed in darkness. The fire casts ghostly shadows on the walls, and I stare down at the envelope, wondering what’s inside. Nothing good, that’s for sure. But nothing seems to be good in my life at the moment, so that’s not much of a surprise. Before I can stop myself, I tear open the top more roughly than I have to, and yank out the letter. The message is simple:
    ‘Choose soon. Your country doesn’t have much time left. The invasion will come soon.
    Should you do nothing, your regret will likely kill you.’
    There’s no signature, but it’s not like I need one. Blaize. He sent this.
    I collapse onto my bed and bury my face in a pillow. I want out of this. Out of this situation, this decision, this life. Maybe Farren was right; maybe I
am
crazy for getting myself into this.
    I shake my head, and my hair falls around my face. I want to stay like this forever, hidden from sight, concealed from the crazy world outside. But I still have a