Crewel

forgiving type. Believe me, I did you a favour.’
    ‘Feel free to keep your favours to yourself in the future,’ I say.
    Maela tosses a bored expression my way and exits. There’s no way I’m about to believe her fake sympathy or her sudden interest in me. Since I’m going to be the next Creweler, she’s just doing some repair work on the damage she’s inflicted.
    ‘Done?’ Erik asks, poking his head through the doorway.
    ‘Do I get an escort again?’
    ‘Cormac wants assurance that you’re safe at all times.’
    ‘Oh good,’ I say with a sigh. ‘Will you be camping out on my floor?’
    ‘Outside your door, as a matter of fact.’
    I screw my face up. I guess I won’t be sneaking out to investigate the clinic tonight.
    ‘Don’t look so annoyed,’ he says, taking my arm. ‘This way you get to wake up and go to sleep to me.’
    Despite my resentment for how he acted after our kiss, I laugh. He’s just so self-assured.
    ‘Every girl’s dream,’ I say, tipping my head to the side.
    ‘I am sorry,’ he says through gritted teeth.
    ‘Sure. It’s nothing.’
    ‘I know what she did to you.’
    ‘Drop it, Erik.’
    ‘You have to know that it would have been worse if I’d come to see you.’
    ‘Yeah, you’re probably right,’ I say, ‘but I guess we’ll never know.’
    ‘So that’s it, then?’
    I sigh and pull my arm out from his. He’s not making this easy. ‘Erik, we kissed. I was a little drunk. I’m over it.’
    ‘And what if I’m not?’ he says, slowing his pace.
    I walk faster, pulling him along with me. ‘It doesn’t matter how powerful I am – or will be after this promotion – it’s not going to happen.’
    ‘Promotion?’ he repeats.
    ‘I’m training to replace Loricel,’ I say with a shrug. ‘I assumed you knew.’
    ‘No, but I guess that explains Maela’s change of heart.’
    ‘Oh, you mean how we’re best friends now?’
    He gives me a crooked grin. ‘I wouldn’t go that far, but she’s definitely trying to get on your good side.’
    ‘At least she’s not trying to kill me.’
    ‘Again, I wouldn’t go that far,’ he says.
    ‘The more things change,’ I mutter.
    ‘Just forgive me?’ he says, and I groan at the circularity of his thoughts. He’s like a puppy chasing his tail, except it’s mine he’s after.
    ‘I forgive you,’ I say. ‘But it doesn’t change anything.’
    ‘I can wait.’
    ‘Erik,’ I say, struggling with how much I want to share. ‘It’s not only that. I’m not the same as I was a few weeks ago. Things have changed, and it would be a waste of your time to wait around for me.’
    He looks down at me as though he’s watching my neurons firing, and I shrink back from his penetrating gaze. ‘I should have known,’ he says, a hint of a smile playing on his lips before fading away.
    I bite down on the inside of my cheek and keep my eyes on the floor. Something in his voice is giving me goosebumps, but he can’t actually know . . . 
    ‘Look,’ he says, ‘I get it. But there’s something you need to consider. I have more resources at my disposal and a certain value to the Guild. He doesn’t. You’ll get him killed.’
    I swallow hard and glance up to his watching eyes. ‘Is that the best you’ve got?’
    ‘I’m not trying to steal you,’ he says, lowering his voice. ‘I know Jost better than you think. I don’t want to see anybody get hurt.’
    ‘That’s thoughtful of you,’ I murmur.
    ‘Think what you want,’ he says. We’re at the door to the brass lift. Reaching forward, he presses the Up button and holds the door when it opens. We step in. When the lift door slides closed, he leans down. I can feel his breath warm against the back of my ear.
    ‘Remember what I said to you that night at the ball?’
    His words tingle in my ear and down my neck, but I manage a nod.
    ‘You know that plan we discussed. If you finally have one, now’s the time to use it.’
    The tingle turns into an electric charge and my pulse builds frenetically in my chest, wrists, ears. ‘Well, I don’t,’ I whisper.
    ‘Then think of one,’ he says into my hair.
    He lingers there for a moment, and I close my eyes, wondering if that kiss really meant nothing to me. The ding of the lift door snaps them back open. Beside me, Erik straightens and extends his arm to hold the sliding door – protecting me – as I cross the threshold.

 
     
     
    19
     
    The strands of light wrapping one another in the void mesmerise