Cross My Heart (A Contemporary Romance Novel)

laughed shortly. “No, you’re right. That’s not what I want.”
    He held her eyes for a moment. She looked back at him, her lips still tender from his kiss. She remembered his hands gripping her shoulders, hard enough to bruise, and a dizzying wave of lust swept through her.
    But it wasn’t just lust. She liked Michael—liked him a lot. She enjoyed talking with him, enjoyed spending time with him.
    She admired him, too. She remembered what he’d done at the clinic today, the way he’d handled a dangerous situation without an ounce of hesitation. She could picture him like that in surgery. He would face down a damaged heart like he’d faced down that addict, with cool confidence and absolute determination.
    She’d gotten mad at Allison for saying none of the other men she’d dated had been grownups, but she knew in her heart it was the truth. They had all been boys. Michael was a man.
    A flicker of panic stirred inside her.
    After a minute he spoke again. “Look, Jenna. I won’t deny I’m disappointed, but...hell, you’re probably making the right decision. It’s not like I’m a great gamble when it comes to relationships. And if we don’t go down that road, maybe we can stay friends.”
     “I want that,” she said quickly. “Oh, Michael, I want that so much. I like you, and I like Claire, and I want to keep you both in my life.” She took a deep breath. “I have a bad track record too, when it comes to relationships. This way will be better. You’ll see.”
    He smiled reluctantly. “I’m not sure I’m sold. But if friendship is what you’re willing to give me, then I’ll take it.”
    Relief swept through her. “Okay. Good.” She took a deep breath. “So...what now? Can we still...we were going to...the three of us.” She realized she wasn’t making sense and tried again. “Maybe we could get together on Tuesday night? For dinner and music appreciation,” she reminded him. She wanted to get them back on their old footing as quickly as possible.
    After a moment he nodded. “I’m in charge of the food, right?”
    His voice was almost normal again, and she felt herself relaxing. “Why don’t you fill a picnic basket and bring it over? We can eat outside, on the patio.”
    “Sounds like a plan.” He glanced at the clock on her wall. “I should probably be heading home. I’m sure Claire’s waiting up to find out how the apology went.”
    She laughed a little shakily. “Considering I’ve completely forgotten what I was mad at you for, I think you can call it a success.”
    That made him smile. “So coming over here wasn’t a total loss.”
    She shook her head. “No.”
    She went with him to the door. He put his hand on the knob and paused, looking at her. Something in his eyes made her take a quick step back.
    “Are you sure about this, Jenna?”
    “I’m sure,” she said quickly. And even though her heart was pounding, she knew she was making the right decision.
    The regret she felt watching him go only confirmed it.
    If she missed him this much after one kiss, how much worse would it be if they actually made love?
    She had no intention of finding out.
    * * *
    It rained on Tuesday, so they ended up having a picnic on Jenna’s living room floor. She put down a red and white checked cloth over her rug, and the meal was lit by candles stuck in empty wine bottles, wax dripping leisurely down their pot-bellied sides.
    It was the first time he’d been with her since the kiss, and things felt a little awkward at first. But Claire’s presence helped, and soon the three of them were talking and laughing—and, of course, eating.
    Michael had made fried chicken, baked beans, and corn on the cob. He’d stripped the silk away from each ear and then roasted them in their husks. The corn was sweet and crisp and they ate a dozen ears between them, creating an enormous pile of husks and cobs in the middle of the picnic blanket.
    Watching Jenna lick melted butter off her fingers, he felt the quick stab of lust she always inspired in him. But after a couple of days away from her he’d regained some semblance of self-control.
    She’d gone out somewhere last night, and he’d resisted the urge to wait up until she was back. He and Claire watched a DVD together and went to bed. When he woke up this morning, he felt master of himself again.
    He knew he wouldn’t stop wanting Jenna. But he also knew he couldn’t ask her to change her plans, to change who she was, on the off chance