Cross My Heart (A Contemporary Romance Novel)

good. Last night was so perfect…can’t we leave it at that?”
    He looked at her. “Jenna, these past two weeks with you have been the best of my life. I’m not going to stop thinking about you when you go away. Damn it, I don’t want you to go away. Can you honestly tell me you haven’t thought at all about staying? That you’ve never imagined being with me…really being with me?”
    She hugged herself tighter. “Of course I have. But if the Mollies do get back together, we’ll be touring. I’d be on the road all the time, especially in the beginning. It just wouldn’t work, Michael.”
    Just talking about the possibility seemed to bring out his stubborn streak. “But you haven’t decided yet about the band. You could still change your mind.”
    Feeling suddenly cold, she rubbed her palms up and down her bare arms. “The Mollies are important to me. Music is important to me.”
     He frowned. “And I’m not important to you? Is that what you’re saying?”
    The coldness crept deeper, into her bones. “Are you asking me to choose between you and my career?”
    “No, of course not. But what about your own songwriting? You could do that here. Aren’t there recording studios in Des Moines? And places you could perform? And Chicago’s only five hours away—you could play there sometimes, too.”
    He took a breath. “And there’s a private school a couple of counties over that’s looking for a music teacher. I know the chairman of their board of directors, and I bet they’d love to interview you. And the performing arts center of Des Moines is looking for private guitar instructors. Or you could give lessons right out of the house—”
    “Wow. You’ve really thought this through, huh? You’ve even done a job search for me.”
    The tone of her voice pulled him up short. “I’m not trying to control your life. But I hate the idea of losing you. And I wanted you to know that there are options for you here, if you want to stay.”
    He hadn’t said he loved her. Jenna wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed by that omission. There’d been times during the last two weeks when the feeling between them had been so intense, so unlike anything she’d ever felt before, that she’d almost said the words.
    Now, she was glad she hadn’t.
    “It’s not just logistics, Michael. It’s the kind of person I am. I’m not the kind of person who stays. I never have been.”
    And she definitely wouldn’t stay for a man who, while he might appreciate that music was part of her life, would always expect to come first. Which meant that she’d always be disappointing him, always letting him down.
    “People change, Jenna. Hell, look at me. I was always the kind of person who kept people at a distance. You helped me change that…you and Claire. So I know for a fact that people can change.”
    She shook her head. “Nothing Claire or I did could have made you change if you didn’t want to.”
    He went still. “So you don’t want to change.”
    It was so much more complicated than that. But she was afraid that trying to tell him everything that was in her heart, every painful contradiction and fear and desire, would tear her to pieces. Because a part of her wanted to stay, wanted to give up everything to be with Michael and Claire.
    “I’d never be able to change enough to make you happy,” was what she said.
    His chest rose and fell with a quick breath. “Okay,” he said after a moment. “Then I guess there isn’t anything else to say.”
     

 
    Chapter Twelve
    If Michael had been hoping that Claire’s return would distract him from missing Jenna, he now knew better.
    Not that it wasn’t great having Claire around. In fact, he was amazed at how she transformed the house, filling it with laughter and chatter and friends.
    She and Ellie had made up, and Ellie was over almost every day. She and her mother had moved in with Mrs. Washington, and as sorry as he was that Ellie’s parents were going through a divorce, he was glad that Claire had a friend living so close by.
    So far, Claire seemed to be happy. She was excited to start school and she was already making friends. Of course he knew there would be plenty of explosions and tears in his future, but as the days went by he started to feel more confident—not that the crises wouldn’t happen, but that he and Claire would find a way to deal with them.
    If only he could find a way to deal with Jenna.
    Or, rather, his feelings for