Cross My Heart (A Contemporary Romance Novel)

she spoke. “When Megan got sick, I didn’t come home. Remember? I stayed on tour with the Mollies.”
    Irene Landry stared at her daughter. “Honey, you did come home. You came home every chance you had, between shows.”
    Jenna shook her head. “I didn’t come home every chance I had. I could have been here a lot more.”
    Her mother was frowning, trying to follow her train of thought. “Even if that’s true, what does that have to do with you being in love with Michael?”
    “What if he gets sick? What if Claire gets sick? What if something scary and horrible happens, and I run away?”
    Irene shook her head. “You won’t.”
    “You don’t know that. I ran away from here, didn’t I? Even before Megan got sick. I ran away without even finishing high school.”
    “You were running towards something, Jenna. Towards your music.”
    Jenna shook her head. “I ran away from that, too. When I found out about Derek and Molly. I didn’t stay, to see if we could work things out. And, okay, maybe Derek wasn’t worth it—but Molly was. And I just walked away from our friendship, and from the band.”
    She took a breath. “Allison would never have done that. She sticks with things. Jake, too. Allison wants to help everyone in the world. And Jake...he puts his life on the line every day to protect other people. There’s no way I can live up to that.”
    “Jenna—”
    Jenna wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. “Don’t you see? That’s the kind of person Michael and Claire deserve. Someone who’ll stick, someone who’ll put them first. Someone who—”
    “My goodness, Jenna. I had no idea you put your brother and sister on such a pedestal.”
    “You and Dad are the same way. Loyal and dedicated and...”
    “So you think before you can deserve love, you have to be perfect?”
    “Maybe not perfect. But...better. Better than I am.”
    “If you need to be better, then you will be. But, sweetheart, you didn’t turn to music when Megan was sick because you were being selfish, or because you didn’t love her. You turned to music because you loved her so much that losing her almost killed you. Music saved your life. It kept you sane, when watching Megan get sicker was ripping you apart. That’s why we told you not to quit.”
    She reached out and covered Jenna’s hand with hers. “I always wondered if you’d ever meet a man with a heart as big as yours. And now that you have, there’s no doubt in my mind that you’re exactly the person Michael and Claire need in their lives.”
    Fresh tears ran down her cheeks. “How can you be so sure of that?”
    Her mother smiled. “You know I had you and Jake just a year after I married your father? We were still in our early twenties, and the farm was just starting out.”
    Jenna nodded.
    “We hadn’t planned on having children so soon. We were going to wait three or four years, until we knew the farm was a going concern.”
    Jenna smiled a little. “So we were a surprise, huh?”
    “Very much so. The truth is, we were both scared out of our minds. Your dad even more than me, I think. We barely earned enough to support ourselves, much less a family. So many times during that first year, we wanted to give up...first me, then him...sometimes both of us at the same time. It put a real strain on our marriage. I actually asked for a divorce, when you and Jake were about six months old.”
    Jenna stared at her. “You did?”
    “I did. I’ve never seen your father so devastated. That night we talked, really talked, for the first time since the two of you were born. We talked about all the things that scared us...and it turned out that what scared us most was the idea of letting each other down. Of not being what the other needed. Of not being enough.”
    Jenna ducked her head, a sudden throb making her chest ache.
    Irene gave her hand a squeeze. “Nothing’s ever perfect, sweetheart—because we’re not. All we can do is the best we can. And in spite of what you believe about yourself, that’s all I’ve ever seen you do. And it’s what you’ll always do. You’re a loving, brilliant, incredible woman, and Michael obviously agrees with me. So for heaven’s sake go put the poor man out of his misery.”
    * * *
    Her mother made it sound so easy, she thought as she drove down Michael’s street.
    Her hands tightened on the steering wheel. It was Saturday, so he’d be home unless he had emergency surgery. Or unless he and Claire had gone out